Accept my unlovability

Jul 6
Father, today plough back, I can touch my feet, first time in hatha yoga. Also noticed that feet up was effortless. Similar to the session after Shakti. Perhaps d realisation that my well of love is not full has released certain karmic parts.


Osho Cards
1. Issue
Aloneness.
Loneliness is the absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Loneliness is a negative state and Aloneness is very positive. You r so full of presence that u can fill the whole universe with ur presence and there is no need for anybody.
When there is no significant other, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends and colleagues.


Be a light unto yourself!
Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guides.


Soul
I am alone and I have found my truth. Tot no one relate, but found SY and D. Amazingly also led D to peel off the hood of anger.
This mornin when meditating, tots of d korean drama, his feeling of unlovability arise, tot of mine. I affirm my love for myself. I affirm that I am loved.


2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Ripeness.
Only if ur meditation has brought u a light that shines in every night will even death, not be a death to you but a door to the divine. You just need the courage to enter into ur inner forest.
When the fruit is ripe, it drops from the tree by itself.
You are ready to share ur inner riches, ur 'juice'. The sharing of urself, this expression of ur creativity can come in many ways. All u need to do is relax right where u are, and be willing for it to happen.


Soul
Yea, I didn't tot of sharing wit D. But she came in and I shared and it also give her the courage to go in her inner forest.


3. External influence of which u r aware.
Existence
You are not accidental. Existence needs you.


Soul
This mornin I tot, jus do the counselling course. I am not sure if I am meant for professional counselling but I know I will be called to help out and hence I better get myself ready. I need to use my Insight to hep rather than to make people feel insecure and make myself unlikeable. Who knows, when I retire, I can do.


4. What is needed for resolution
Change
Life repeat itself endlessly - unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
Life is continuously changing, evolving, dying and being reborn. All opposites play a part in this vast circular pattern.
Move towards the Center of the cyclone and relax, knowing that this too will pass.


5. The understanding
Beyond Illusion
The space beyond the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness.
Not to look outside, but to look within. When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up with judgements - this good; this is bad; I want this; I want that.
These judgements keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. There, u can relax into ur own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known.


Eight of Hearts
Card of considerable emotional power, charm and personal magnetism.
Indicator of having healing energy, a 'spiritual force' gathering in you, a force u can use to better ur life in many way.
　

Evening
Osho - nanak
He who had become the thirst of his every heartbeat stood revealed to before Nanak. All his desires were fulfilled.
Then God spoke to him, "Now go back and give unto others what I have given to you.

Soul
When I read this, I started to cry, felt like God asked me to share.
Jus now don't know what to read. Wonder how to heal myself of my unlovability. Suddenly tot of Law of attraction and opened my bookshelf. Found this book on Nanak.
Jus five minutes ago I ran thru Destiny - Queen of Club in mercury period. It is said I have a special knowledge that I can share. I only need to curb my impatience. I tot, now that I encountered my own unlovability, my judgement had dropped drastically. So, the impatience also died down.
And now reading this msg, is like double whammy. Yea, I have received my truth and instead of thinking how to overcome. Jus sit wit it lah.

When I read the song of Nanak, tears fell unknowingly. Nanak met his divine by dancing. Tot of me and my dancing. Tonight, suddenly did guru pooja and was crying during samsaran section. It has been awhile since I am affected by guru pooja. Would now change my routine.

Osho
Unless u lose urself completely, until u die, u cannot hope to meet God. Your annihilation becomes his being.
The one who is lost invariably returns, but he returns as new.
When eyes is open, everything is he.

Soul
Jus like me making a full turning after seeing my own unlovability issue.
Jus now when P approach me on S. I honestly cracked my head, don't know how to resolve. But U came up wit me telling P abt S's lack of parameter causing him to rub everyone. He also rubbed me and he often receive my scolding. I tol P to remove her negative tot on S cos it is not so. S is not politicing, he is just fearful. Remember, a true politic would ensure that he/she won't rub anyone the wrong way.
Yeap, both P and W also wan my support. I told them all has my support.
You helped me to turn around. You are the best.