Hidden unlovability is what drives us (3)

Jul 4
This mornin, when I woke up. First tot in my mind, I am lovable and I attract only loving people and loving circumstances.
My well of love is enough that I can shared my unlovability wit LY and LK. I shared wit LY to thank her and LK to give her a guide of my inner journey.

Evenin
Father, at the end of d day. The crux is somehow we all felt unloved one way or the other. So, we have been either trying to fill up the well of love or trying to defend the well of love.
It is so humbling to see the unlovability in me causing my life to go this way.

Radical forgiveness
Its purpose lies in seeing the truth behind the apparent circumstances of a situation and recognising the love that always exist there.
90 percent of healing occurs when u become willing to let in the idea that ur soul has lovingly created this situation for u.
In becoming willing, u let go of control and surrender it to God.
Whenever things doesn't happen ur way. U think there must be something wrong wit me. That's the way little kids think. Since they perceive the world revolves around them, they always assume that when things don't go well, its their fault.
When a child first thinks this, the thought is coupled wit great pain. To reduce the pain, a child represses it, but this action actually makes it all the harder to get rid of the tot. Thus we stuck wit the idea that "its my fault and something must be wrong with me", even as an adult.
At any time a situation in our life triggers the memory of this pain or the idea attached to it, we emotionally regress. Thus we feel and behave like the little kid who first experienced the pain.

Soul
That's me. Until I stopped it when we lost d big client and there was an economic. I told myself that I cannot hold myself responsible, I can't carry the burden of the world. I am not that great.
Jus tot of V's sharing his journey. I was bit irritated cos he was talkin abt things he doesn't know. I was also not happy that teacher ignored him. V was only behaving what he knows, no one has the right to judge him. Why m I irritated wit him or was it jus a short moment. I guess I was irritated cos I didn't tell him what I think.
Tot of C and her witholding d cd.
Aiyah, jus my mind overactive. Need not react.

Radical forgiveness
Even though u repressed the pain to get rid of it, the belief kept working in ur life at a subconscious level. That's when ur soul decided to create some drama in ur life so u would bring it to consciousness again and have the opportunity to choose healing once more.
You attracted people into ur life who would confront u directly wit ur own pain and make u relive the original experience through them.

Soul
I always know abt the lesson. But what I didn't know was the source of unlovability at the root of our subsconscious.

Radical forgiveness
When u really understand this, u will feel grateful to the people who are confronting ur pain. You will stop sending out message that u r unlovable. You will have the ability to let love in, perhaps for the first time in ur life.

Soul
I am already doing that. I tot I couldn't do affirmation. And now I know why. Firstly, I tot nothing wrong wit me. Secondly I tot I don't deserve. Well, now I know d well of love is not full and can't be triggered. So, I can now do affirmation to feel the well of love. I am willing to let love in for the first time in my life.

Radical forgiveness
The people who confronted ur pain is already changing and dropping their bizarre behaviour once u forgive them and healed ur misperception abt urself. As u change ur energy, their energy changes too. U r connected energetically. Physical distance is irrelevant.

U don't share ur new way wit the people who confronted ur pain. Everything will be different automatically simply as a consequence of u changing ur perception. U will feel more peaceful, centered and relaxed.
You will have a knowingness that will seem strange to the people who confront ur pain.

Soul
Yeap, both CEO and C behaviour was quite bizzare, especially C.

Radical forgiveness
For it to truly happen often requires a great deal of integration and repetitive reinforcement.

Soul
Tot this is same msg as Fool. Abt me not seeing from past or my own knowledge. Just keep on trusting and let the experience be.
Abt my creativity, Insight into my inner journey.
Alas abt my expanded Consciousness.
The situation did unfold as what my Osho cards says. Amazing.