Do not swim, just float

Jul 10

Father, jus did my practices. Not so good. Was thinking of d fellow meditators persistence on the teacher's behaviour. They are using the teacher to 'scold' others. No wonder, almost all become afraid of teacher. If they can trigger me, they can trigger others too. Why does this affect me? I guess it was brought about by teacher's comment that everyone seems to be frighten of her, how to resolve it. Whenever they did the 'scolding' on behalf of teacher, I used to have a negative perception on her. Looks like its the rest that is adding salt and pepper.
Mmm, the mind really want to hold everything. Even this can be taken to disturb my practices.

Osho
Do not swim, float
Do not fight with the river, because it is not your enemy, but ur friend
Float!
By fighting, you create enmity; when you swim against the current, the river opposes you.
It is not the river but you who introduces struggle.
The river flows along its course; it is not even aware of you.
Of your own will, you begin swimming against the tide.
You are asserting your will by going in the opposite direction, and that means you are nourishing and strengthening your ego.
His wish ...and you become one with the current.
Now wherever the river takes you is your destination.
Wherever it takes you is the shore. If it drowns you, that is your destination.
Then where is the anxiety, then where is the pain? You have cut off the very roots of suffering.

Soul
So appropriate.
Now no need to wonder why I finished practice earlier.


Evening
My floats were great in the pool. For the first time, since I was focused on the moment by moment floating, my whole body can feel the sensation of water enveloping my body. I find them friendly and I jus focus on floating.
Jus now watching Sadhguru talked abt bandana lock, bringing all d good to next life, so don't have to re-do the life lesson and life become effortless. I tot my Past Life person has done the deed, cos I mostly got what I want and generally my life is effortless. I felt moved and now would do proper bandana lock to carry it through to next Life.

Just now when teacher was talking that I need to be mute during initiation, my unlovability came up and I tot I don't want to attend then. Then she continues to say that her focus is on the 17 persons. I tot that is fine. Besides, I can try to be silent and now I also enjoy my silence. On 2nd tot, take this opp to go in deeper.