Fear of the pool comes back

Oct 25

Today woke up upon alarm at 6.45 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi, wish I could stay longer in the silence.
Did corrected Cat Stretch, love it especially now I know that it improved on my Surya Kriya mountain pose. Also loosen my stiff shoulder blade.
After the cat stretch, sat in silence, into meditation mode. Never knew cat stretch can be so amazing. All these years of avoiding it due to my right elbow pain.
Surya kriya was great with proper alignment since my both hand can now touch the ground more. Breathing meditation was good.
Shakti was good too, went in deep.
Shambavi was okay.
Plough back has improved.

Went for my weekly swim. The pool is full cos today is public holiday.
I only managed to swim one complete lap, the rest of the time, got to stop at intermittent as there are many peoples and children who are not good swimmers and are just splashing in the water.
A sense of fear envelop me and it paralyse me.
This reminds me of myself a few years ago.
Not sure what is happening...but I think this could be a way to tell me its time for me to go to the middle of the pool where there are less swimmers.
Finally  towards the end, I walked in the pool towards the middle, try to swim a bit but fear paralyse me.
I have decided to do so again next week; time to move to the middle of the pool.

Father, Sadhguru sannidhi is not a solace, its true he facilitate the sadhana but he also raised remnants of my fear. Today during the Shakti, tots of Z comes in but knowing that it is just remnants of past, I am able to let it fly off, no more holding back the past.

Got this from facebook
http://www.bodymindsoulspirit.com/nama-what-the-meaning-of-namaste/
Anjali mudra also signifies the opposition in all things which actually shows us how to find balance, like a child’s swing that moves up and down but eventually comes to rest in the center. Yoga has taught me that for a yogi, the center is the heart. As we move through an asana practice, we are moving and breathing which helps our energy to become balanced. Stretching our muscles creates the space for this to occur, as does deep, steady breathing. We remind ourselves of this search for balance by bringing our hands together in front of our heart, and when we do this periodically throughout our practice, it becomes a reminder to remember why we have come to our mat and what yoga means to us.

Namaste represents yoga… two seemingly opposing forces (masculine/feminine, inner/outer, light/dark, me/you) being joined together. The word yoga means to “yolk” (to join). It ultimately seeks to unite all opposites and dissolve any illusion of separateness that may exist. Anytime we weave inhale into exhale, or experience the turning of night into day with no definitive break in between, we are experiencing the presence of yoga.