Queen of Spades in Pluto

Nov 14 aft 1

Was updating blog and saw this.

Ruling 2014/2015
Pluto
Queen of Spades
Somehow connected to ur result card you are attempting to develop a sense of mastery from within, a greater level of organisational ability or both. Self mastery comes from inner knowledge and self control. It is knowing u can have everything u want, not by changing the world but by changing yourself.
U will have to work hard this year and possibly doing work that u find somewhat distasteful.  Spades are work and the Queen using her work as karma yoga, a tool to purify her tots and emotions.
This is the goal u have set for urself and u must have good reason for why u want this. Keep this uppermost in ur mind as u progress through the year. U will no doubt have to make changes within and outside of urself  to achieve this goal.

Affirmation
I develop my capacity to transform my life by changing my beliefs, ideas, and concepts of the world. I become the master of myself.

Result
Nine of Clubs
Much of ur challenges is to let go of outworn ideas, projects, plans or way of communicating. This is a year of completion that may at times seem like disappointing endings.
The Nine of Clubs says that u are completing a major chapter in ur life and it is time to move on to greener pastures.
Be open to spiritual wisdom in all forms, as this will help make change easier.

Affirmation
I complete projects this year and let go of the past. I broaden my understanding by releasing old ways of thinking.


Soul
Alas, firstly got the INFJ which truly helps to clear off judgement against myself.
Now learning about Empathy in my personal relationships truly helps me.
And alas message from Sadhguru; being joyous is of higher scale than being loving. That in itself is the greatest affirmation that I need.
I have been judging myself for years on this, also some people like Pe and L also did.
I guess thats why L's criticism hurts cos she said I am not loving..
I admit I am not..but I am joyous...and being joyous means I need  not involve myself with her negativity and her unhappiness and her constant bad judgement. It was draining to be with her. I was being with her not out of frienship but more of seeing her as potential resources for local Isha. My intention is not 'clean'.
Anyway, thats out.
Looking bad at that day, I was truly feeling down and dejected and was cyring loads being a Sathsang guide, so definitely can't go down further by entertaining her calls. Hence I ignored her calls. It may not seen to be loving..but it was loving to me.
I suppressed my needs so much that I need to come first.
And now learning empathy for myself...and in time can have empathy for others in work.