INFJ's suppressed anger

Oct 21 aft

Was reading weakness of INFJ and saw this.

Some INFJs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are generally associated with not knowing (or caring) how they come across to others, and with having unreasonable expectations for others' behaviors. Both of these issues stem from using Extraverted Feeling primarily to dismiss external ideas, rather than to sort through their own intuitions.

An INFJ who uses Extraverted Feeling in this diminished manner may become so strongly opinionated that they form rigid and unreasonable expectations for others. They may feel so strongly about things that they become very passionate and agitated when they feel that something has gone wrong. In these cases, it's not uncommon for the INFJ to express their displeasure with biting sarcasm. They become so emotionally upset that they are generally not aware of how their behavior comes across to others. Even if the consequences of their attitude and behavior is pointed out to them, they may be agitated to the point that they don't care. This kind of situation can be devastating to the INFJ on many levels, and should be avoided. There isn't much that can be done once the INFJ has reached the point where they are too upset to care about others, but the INFJ can prevent this problem from occuring by ensuring that they never get to that point.

When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.

Soul
When I read this 2 things come in to my mind.

1) My resentment being unable to relieve my responsibility at local Isha. I affected others but still I can't be bothered. I had suppressed too much. So can't help it especially since I am unable to express out of fear of losing validation. So resentment is the only way I could..the leakages..

2) The final break up with Z when we just got back together. I too had suppressed so much.

while part of me feel with bit of regret but the ending is inevitable. I recalled I had the Outsider card on the day I broke up with Z, again on Saturn day. And perhaps it is meant to happen.
Going forward, will learn to express.
and it was out of fear of loss of validation that make me afraid to express.
So in fear of losing validation, I eventually lost it.

Yes, I loved Z but I was just probably safe sex and companionship to him.
He make sure he doesn't get attached to me.
To be fair, he did ask me not to get attached to him but I ignored him.
But alas after one year plus..how not to..
And the truth is I was already in love with him before we went in.....so foregone conclusions.

And for sure he didn't love me as love doesn't change overnight. He turn and got himself a wife within 3 months after ensuring she fulfill the requirement. His last statement to me was I was not tall enough and I don't want children.

I waited and pine for one year plus.
He has unstable life style due to high financial commitment, I couldn't have live in comfort securely.
I just want a simple life style with minimal commitment so I can explore my life within me.
We were never meant to be.
Me living in inner world and he living in outer world.
Anyway, no regrets.
At least he broken the physical chain in me..