Slowly but surely envy is reducing from my life

Nov 12 aft 1

This week Osho tarot card.
1. The Issue
Change
Life repeats itself mindlessly - unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel. That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death, the wheel of time.
It has often been said that the only unchanging thing in the world is change itself. Life is continuously changing, evolving, dying and being reborn. All opposites play a part in this vast circular pattern. If you cling to the edge of the wheel you can get dizzy! Move toward the center of the cyclone and relax, knowing that this too will pass.

Soul
Yesterday received message that we may lose our biggest client. I was surprisingly calm. The only tot that come to my mind is just to reduce my number of work days.

2.Internal Influences that you are unable to see
 Existence
You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it.
The stars, the rocks, the trees, the flowers, fish and birds - all are our brothers and sisters in this dance of life. We human beings tend to forget this, as we pursue our own private agendas and believe we must fight to get what we need. But ultimately, our sense of separateness is just an illusion, manufactured by the narrow preoccupations of the mind. 

Now is the time to look at whether you are allowing yourself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at "home" wherever you are. If you are, be sure to take time to savor it so it can deepen and remain with you. If on the other hand you've been feeling like the world is out to get you, it's time to take a break. Go outside tonight and look at the stars.

Soul
Yesterday received my first email via joyong.org.
A query on a fellow RA patient, her husband wrote to me for input on RA healing.


3. External influences of which you are aware
Aloneness
When there is no "significant other" in our lives we can either be lonely, or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings. When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends or colleagues. 

If you are facing such a situation now, be aware of how you are choosing to view your "aloneness" and take responsibility for the choice you have made. 

The humble figure in this card glows with a light that emanates from within. One of Gautam Buddha's most significant contributions to the spiritual life of humankind was to insist to his disciples, "Be a light unto yourself." Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.

Soul
I know the feeling.
Me now just contented being alone.
Just now finally can see the latest pix of Z and wife. There is no more envious feeling and can see that Z and wife is compatible. Just glad that Z is not my partner.
Father, yes..a true let go of Z, finally.
A release of breathe. Took me 2 full years from our break up on Sept 2012, him telling me that he is engaged to be married in Dec 2012, to his marriage in July 2013 and now is Nov 2014.
Finally the body memory has loosen up..maybe thats why the spine was slightly injured..needed the correction.
Especially now able to feel my presence in the presence of the Shrine.
Mmm suddenly occur to me about the Master, being...
The Master
The Master in Zen is not a master over others, but a master of himself. His disciples gather around him not to follow him, but to soak up his presence and be inspired by his example. In his eyes they find their own truth reflected, and in his silence they fall more easily into the silence of their own beings.
The master welcomes the disciples not because he wants to lead them, but because he has so much to share. Together, they create an energy field that supports each unique individual in finding his or her own light. If you can find such a master you are blessed. If you cannot, keep on searching. Learn from the teachers, and the would-be masters, and move on. Charaiveti, charaiveti, said Gautam Buddha. Keep on moving.

Soul
I am truly blessed. I found my Master, the shrine.

4. Whats needed for resolution?
Past lives
The child can become conscious only if in his past life he has meditated enough, has created enough meditative energy to fight with the darkness that death brings. One simply is lost in an oblivion and then suddenly finds a new womb and forgets completely about the old body.
The real point is to see and understand the karmic patterns of our lives, and their roots in an endless repetitive cycle that traps us in unconscious behavior.

Soul
Been feeling grounded.
Even when the ego was making me excited over the possibilities on becoming IK guide. I said nope. I can see thats just the excitement of the moment. I don't even want to be sathsang guide, why do IK guide.
Thats just the excitement of getting validation
Now that I m grounded, I am no longer compulsive over losing validation.
I know that I don't like to guide, I don't like to do corrections as I am not detailed enough nor patient enough.
But I am okay with promoting and marketing Isha. Once I got the deal, I want others to organise and execute.
I know I am 'fake' extrovert. I can't hold it for long.
Thats why I don't even wish to be a public speaker cos I know that I can't keep up with it. For me, it is still writing.
No more going back to the past.
I want to move on a new path based on my conscious mode, no longer on compulsive mode keeping me in the past.

5.Resolution

Morality
Unless awareness arises in you, all your morality is bogus, all your culture is simply a thin layer which can be destroyed by anybody. But once your morality has come out of your awareness, not out of a certain discipline, then it is a totally different matter. Then you will respond in every situation out of your awareness. And whatever you do will be good. 

Awareness cannot do anything that is bad. That is the ultimate beauty of awareness, that anything that comes out of it is simply beautiful, is simply right, and without any effort and without any practice. So rather than cutting the leaves and the branches, cut the root. And to cut the root there is no other method than a single method: the method of being alert, of being aware, of being conscious.


Soul
Yesterday, P and I had a discussion. There was a potential disagreement. I can see myself brewing, judging her...later I stop, empathy comes into play. Instead of thinking she is out to judge me, I then see that she was only viewing her opinion, not attacking me. It was me taking things personally.
Even before any negative feeling arise, I nip in the bud. Apply empathy and we able to come to an agreement. Amen.