Leaving the past behind me

Nov 2


Woke up before 6 am body feeling fresh. Doze a bit and woke up from bed at 6.30 am.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and went for a walk in the park.
Once I step into the park, song of Guru Pooja starts to sing in my mind.
Love the trees..after Isha I am able to appreciate them.
Love the way the trees give energy freely to us.

For the first time since I shifted into my renovated room 3 years ago, I am doing spring cleaning of my collection of books.Giving away those books that I know I won't ever read again. Some of those books I haven't touch since Isha six years ago. Those book on the early stage of embarking into personal development is the ones I am giving away.
I am also giving away those books on sexuality that I first read in my early thirties. No longer need them, thanks to Z. Truly glad went all the way with Z. It helps me to close that chapter of sexual knowledge and experience.
Now only keeping Sadhguru, Osho, Ekhart Tolle, Krishnamurti, A Course in Miracle and a few historical philosophist.

This week Osho tarot card.
Internal influences that you are unable to see
Clinging to the Past
It's time to face up to the fact that the past is gone, and any effort to repeat it is a sure way to stay stuck in old blueprints that you would have already outgrown if you hadn't been so busy clinging to what you have already been through. Take a deep breath, put the box down, tie it up in a pretty ribbon if you must, and bid it a fond and reverent farewell. Life is passing you by, and you're in danger of becoming an old fossil before your time!

Soul
Yes, me saying goodbye to the past.

4. What’s needed for resolution?

The Lovers

What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not. 

Then, as we mature, we can begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honors the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole. 

This love is based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.

Soul
Slowly but surely getting this.
At least today I am real glad that I finally can remove the books on sexuality, with thanks to Z.

Susan Miller monthly astrology on Cancer for Nov
When it comes to love, you seem to be waiting for something to happen. If you are married, you may be hoping to find the right time to have a child, and if you are single, you seem to be waiting for your relationship to move forward. You have been in limbo, due to Saturn's long journey through your sector of true love (since October 2012), but that will soon end with Saturn's departure next month on December 23. You are ready for progress, and if you don't see it, you will need to have a good answer why things can't move forward now. Your days of waiting are coming to an end, for your patience has been strained and in short supply.

Soul
What an apt message, giving me hope. Z and I broke off in September 2012.
Just now did my physical release, and I cried. I wonder where is my partner. Need not have to do physical release on my own.
Did Shoonya thereafter, went in deep.
Truly love my shrine.
What a change of life...I am truly in a good place now.
Ready to embark on whatever comes my way.

5. Resolution
The Fool

Moment to moment, and with every step, the Fool leaves the past behind. He carries nothing more than his purity, innocence and trust, symbolized by the white rose in his hand. The pattern on his waistcoat contains the colors of all four elements of the tarot, indicating that he is in harmony with all that surrounds him. His intuition is functioning at its peak. At this moment the Fool has the support of the universe to make this jump into the unknown. Adventures await him in the river of life. 

The card indicates that if you trust your intuition right now, your feeling of the 'rightness' of things, you cannot go wrong. Your actions may appear 'foolish' to others, or even to yourself, if you try to analyze them with the rational mind. But the 'zero' place occupied by the Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.