Allowance of the moment, leads us to Now

Jun 5
Father, did my asanas and it was fine despite not regular practice last week. I doze off into deep sleep. Shakti and Shambavi were fine too.

Father, Z is changing. These days he is returning calls, just when I have given up hope on him.

1. The Issue
Stress
The essential man is not a doer. The accidental man is a doer. The accidental man lives in a world of uncertainty and believes as if it is certain. This creates tension in his being: he knows deep down that nothing is certain.

The quality of stress represented by this card visits all of us at times, but perfectionist are particularly vulnerable to it.

Soul
Yea, the build up was last week. This week I am much better. The only stress I have was with Z. I wasn't sure how to reconcile but luckily he called. We didn't talk about my msg.

2. Internal Influence that u r unable to see
Moment to Moment
The past is no more and the future is not yet.
The right person is one who lives moment to moment, whose arrow is directed to the moment, who is always here and now, wherever he is, his whole consciousness, his whole being, is involved in the reality of here and in the reality of now.
The man is in the marketplace but at the same time outside of it, maintaining his balance and able to watch it from above.

This card challenges us to move away from preoccupations with other spaces and other times, and stay alert to what is happening in the here and now. Life is a great ocean in which u can play if u drop all ur judgements, ur preferences and the attachment to the details of ur long-term plans. Be available to what comes ur way, as it comes. And don't worry if u stumble or fall; just pick urself up, dust urself, have a good laugh and carry on.

3. External influence of which u r aware
Rebirth
Ur consciousness is only a mirror. Neither do u come nor do u go. Things come and go.
Whatever the space u r in right now - be aware that it will evolve into something new if u allow it. It is a time of growth and change.

4. What is needed for resolution?
Turning in
Turning inwards simply means that u have been running after this desire and that, and u have been running and running and u have come again and again to frustration. That each desire brings misery, that there is no fulfillment through desire. That u never reach anywhere, that contentment is impossible. Seeing this truth, that running after desires takes u nowhere, u stop.

To develop the knack of taking a distance from the mind is one of the greatest blessings. It is what meditation is about, just watching, as if the mind belongs to somebody else.
U r ready to take this distance now and to watch the show without getting caught up in the drama. Indulge urself in the simple freedom of Turning in whenever u can and the knack of meditation will grow and deepen in u.

5. Resolution
The Miser
The moment u become miserly, u r closed to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing. The moment u start clinging to things, u have missed the target - u have missed.

Things are not the target, u, ur innermost being, is the target - not a beautiful house, but a beautiful u, not much money but a rich u; not many things, but an open being, available to million of things.


Jun 5 Aft
Father, I am settling down. I am thankful that SL is here with me. I guess this is a settlement of rship, hence Six of Spades.

Z has also settled down with me. He has started to return my calls. He has allows his feelings for me to grow. He also sort of accepted that I am too old to bear him any children. His plan is now to expand his time with his children.