Taking charge of my life - Top 5

Jul 9

Father, such heavy energy yesterday. I guess it was because I try to get the special meditation and didn't follow thru.
I am glad everyone now knows what is my feeling on volunteering. I really don't want to. But once I am in, I gave my best.
At least I now knew the yoga event will be given the attention it deserves.

Diamond Heart - Book 3
Just being oneself, life has meaning. U will be the meaning. Ur true preciousness is the meaning.
This very moment, not related to past or future, is the center and from there u can see that u r nothing but grace. Not only does life has meaning, but it is a grace, as if the heavens opened and poured grace into u.
U will see that ur very nature is that grace, pure, unoriginated preciousness, which u don't see by looking but by being.
To be urself, means u r the Essence, u r the Being, u r the significance, u r the meaning.

We have seen that we are always looking for the preciousness that was lost, thinking we can get it from the outside. But it is the innermost. It is so private, so deep, so inner, that there is nothing more inner than this.

To be really oneself is to eliminate the chasm, to unify the two sides of oneself, to fully become one. It is not as if u r someone who has a body, someone who does this or that, someone who has an Essence. U r it! U r the whole thing.

To be able to simply fall into one's nature, is, however, not easy. It is the most difficult thing there is. It takes perseverance, patience, sincerity and compassion for oneself. And it may take a long time.

Soul
I don't know. But I feel I cleared the air on Isha. Not sure the response but now they know I am not there voluntarily, they know I don't feel joy when I am doing. But I gave my best, going beyond likes and dislikes.

Father, it is getting clearer that I have to drop new company. So, I still have to safe guard the old company. I need a part time job. On my new car, I could just re-finance it to 6 years and then instalment would be around 1500 instead of 3000.

Father, this year King is for me to lead my life the way I wanted to. I no longer want my days to filled up with work after work. No time for myself.

Anyway, will have to wait till year end. Another half year to go.

I have selected old company. I also decided on my new notebook, Mc Aire to follow the old company. This decision means I have chosen.
It was funny, the notebook thingy was hanging about 1 month, roughly same time on my dilemma.

Yea, after I take part time, I still have my writing to move on to. I be fine. Who knows, even 4A can pay me 1500 just to be their advisor.

Father, my long range Destiny is Ace of Diamondss
A desire for money or the birth of a new way of earning money. All Aces represent new beginnings, a desire for something that starts a new cycle of creating. Aces are the representatives of pure creative energy.
Diamonds represent our value systems, the things that we like or dislike, treasure or discard. So, the Ace of Diamonds means that we experience the birth of a new value or that we suddenly like or want something that we didn't before.

Soul
So correct.
I take over my destiny. Focus on my Top 5 instead of my financial security, my comfort and etc.