Loads in my mind

May 28 Aft

Father, C said her business venture didn't work out and now she is trying new avenues. Anyway, net is she can't be Sathsang guide till after Aug.

For me, no issue except I wanted the Sathsang to shake me up.

1. The Issue
Laziness
When u r lazy, it is a negative taste. U simply feel that u have no energy, u simply feel dull, u simply feel sleepy.
When u r in a state of non-doing, then u r full of energy, it is a very positive state.

This card says that this poolside resort is not ur final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird in the sky is trying to show. Ur complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now it's time to move on. No matter how fuzzy the slippers, how tasty the pina colada, there are skies upon skies waiting to be explored.

Soul
I wasn't surprised when I saw this. I am already feeling at ease with my workload. My team is all in by this week. Next week onward, I just need to direct and it is my forte. Now I am already feeling lethargic. I am waking up before alarm but I just felt lazy.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Creativity
Love what u do. Be meditative while u r doing it - whatsoever it is!

The key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things.
Be open to what wants to be expressed through u. Remember that we don't possess our creations; they do not belong to us.

Soul
I know I will volunteer for Isha once I have settled down. Like M said, last Friday, I already look at peace. Osho said freedom can have a negative taste. I guess I just need to balance as I can be like Z.

3. External Influence
Experiencing
Experiencing is the feeling of wonder itself, the thrill of communion, the gentle touch of our connectedness with all that surrounds us.

If u haven't heard nature whispering to u lately, now is a good time to give her the opportunity.

Soul
I am losing my experience with trees. Yday I picked up the rock I found in the Resort and I can feel its energy pulsating. It brought back memories of where I am supposed to be - nature.


4. What is needed for resolution?
Mind
Such a small head ..and no space to live in! And that rubbish goes on moving in ur head; ur head goes on spinning and weaving - it keeps u occupied. Ur tots surrounds u like a clouds. With this cloud, u cannot know reality; u cannot attain to spiritual perception.

The cloud has to be dropped. And it is just with ur decision to drop it that it will disappear. U r clinging to it - the cloud is not interested in u, remember it.

Soul
Yea, so many tots in my mind. Tots telling me if the price to pay for spirituality is worth it. I am no going anywhere. But yesterday when I touched and feel the rock, I felt a sense of loss.

I am not sure if the price to pay is worth it. I don't know what I will get in future.
But I am sure I don't want to lose my connection to nature. Its what bring me back to my Self. I want that connection. It is valuable to me. Perhaps, I shouldn't be pricing it. It cannot be priced.

5. The Understanding
Patience
There are times when the only thing to do is to wait. This card reminds us that now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting. Let nature takes its course.
It is a time full of mystery, like the hours just before the dawn. It is a time when the only thing to do is to wait.


Soul
I don't know where I be. On Z, I am just loving him and let him decide. I have made my choice to be with him and now is his turn.


May 28 Eve
Father, drove my new car today. Only not so good comments was the plate number. I am surprised people are so particular. To me, a number is of no significance.
Father, I am getting confident of my car.

Called Z but no response. May be in meeting.