Bliss vs Pleasure

May 21
Life gives us what we want. I am staying in a relationship whereby my partner doesn't want to commit. I am telling Life that I don't want commitment.

The truth is do I really want commitment. One part of me really want, the other part of me is afraid of the price to pay.

I can't change him. The last discussion confirms that. I also don't take it personally. He doesn't want to commit, he doesn't want to let his feelings grow. Granted he has rationale, but that's him.

What about my rationale of staying? He suits me. He is able to keep me interested. He is a good man. He is a loyal man.

Like he said we r different. I am settled down and now looking for a relationship. For him, he is not, he is looking for his business.

I need to ask him about marriage. It was something I was afraid to discuss. I know he wants children but I really don't want to. Besides my age and RA medicine is not conducive for impregnation. I never dare to breach it cos I tot I wouldn't be in his list. I tot I was unlovable. Well, let's discuss it. I love him and I want to be with him. Our only issue is money of which both of us is attending to. He needs to go on accumulation and I need to spend some.

Sadhguru
If u r life, u would be sensitive to life. Right now u r trying to be anything other than life; that is the whole problem. U r trying to be a tot, an emotion, an idea, a conclusion, an opinion and etc.
If you just see, whatever ur body, mind and emotion are saying is not important.

Soul
Well, m listening less to body, mind and emotion. Yesterday the path looks great. I did my practice today and suria was quite effortless with some laughter. Shakti and shambavi wit little tots except for Z. When I ended the practice, I have 25 min to spare cos I didn't doze at all. I recalled I said if I lose Z, I just filled up time with Isha.
I slept and I dreamed of Isha outing, which I promptly got lost. Perhaps indicating this not the way to go.
My journey with Z, it is getting more settled.

Sadhguru
There is no such thing as "true bliss" and "false bliss". When u r in truth, u will be in bliss. When u r really in touch with truth, u will naturally be in bliss.
So being blissful or not being blissful is like a litmus test for u to see whether u r in truth or not.
Blissfulness means a state that is not dependent upon something or somebody. Blissfulness is not dependent on anything. Pleasure is always dependent upon something or somebody.
Blissfulness is of ur own nature; once u r in touch with it, u r in it, that's all.
Blissfulness is not something u earn from outside; it is something that u dig deep into urself and find. It is like digging a well.
True bliss is just this; when u have dug ur own well into urself and u have found water that sustains u all the time. U need not open ur mouth to when it rains. No, all the time u have water with u. That is bliss.

Soul
I am focused on my practices.


Soul
Suddenly I tot, my goal is to be free. So I must be free to tell Z that I want to be married to him. It is really putting me out on a limb. But there is nothing to lose as I am already prepared to lose him or perhaps I never had him.