Once u experience ur beingness, u start growing and develooping ur true potential

Jul 13 Eve

Father, the food no longer interest me as before. The colleagues are a nice bunch. But I no longer wants to work hard and play hard. I just want to be myself. I just want to go back to Z.

Today, E said all women are crazy except for me. I told him that my boyfriend said I am emotional. J asked me how long I was with my boyfriend and I said one and half years. Unlike Z, I can be open cos I can declare I have done it. Our position on security is opposite. For me, is ok to fail as my aim is just to have one rship. For him. Is not ok to fail as he has failed a few times.

I think N is attracted to E. For me, I think E is too much a baby.

Diamond Heart - book 3
What determines the value of meditation is that u do the meditation. If u really do it, in time u will become present mainly because u will not go along with the judgements and the preferences of the ego. The meditation requires a certain effort and there is actual work on the ego through the perseverance.
It is necessary at first to make the effort to be more present. But ultimately u need to be present without effort, to just let urself be.

The false pearl is the personality which has developed according to the ego ideal. The personal essence, the personal beingness, on the other hand, which we call the Pearl beyond Price, develops by living according to ur essential self. This essential development can take place only when u r not separate from urself.

It allows ur capacities, functions and accomplishments to develop in a genuine way as an outgrowth of ur spontaneous unfoldment. It is the result of living in the moment, living in a way that is true to who u r.
To actualise ur particular unique work in this life means to be ur personal essence. It is the essence of all that u have developed and integrated in ur soul as u live a real life.

When u experience urself as ur beingness, as ur personal essence, u feel that u have accomplished urself _ not just urself in the sense of knowing who u truly are, but by who u truly are, u start growing and developing ur potential.