Jul 8
Father, alas I felt clear. I finally told them I am sad when I do volunteering. There are loads of resistance. But once I am in, I am in. Just like being a sathsang guide. I really don't want but its a responsibility I cannot shrug off. So, I do it and gave my best. But it doesn't mean I am happy doing it.
Alas, the truth it out. When C said that Sadhguru coming here answer her prayer, I tot mine was complete opposite. I want Sadhguru as far as possible. I don't want to know him and I don't want him to know I exist. I just want to use his tools. Am I thankful to him? Yes, he is in my daily prayer. But do I want to see him, not at all. It be the scariest thing. That's why I ignored him during samyama.
My eye lids feel heavy with unshed tears.
I can see that P feels bit sorry for her outburst and now try to make up.
But it doesn't matter anymore. I know its about my own issue on lovability.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment