Accept my role

Mar 21

Yday n today I was irritated wit M. Non-stop asking question. Anyway, I did my part, I finally told him that he is too much mind, mirror to his wife that is too much emotion. I told him to stop seekin n asking understanding. Jus be in the moment. He said that wld be suppression. I said, if the mind is running wild, he shld take charge of it and stop it.

Jus now also tot of M, I noted some slight irritation at me. Keep on highlighting that Teacher may not be ok wit me, that m not following rule. Then I tot of Teacher sudden decision of not asking me to do sathsang. Perhaps, like what Mu said people are jealous n of cos m not the normal devotion path, so not right to lead, that I can relate. Beside, I also not keen. Jus wan to enjoy myself. I think I agree wit Mu, that I must have some yoga experience in my past life, otherwise, I won't fall into it.

Mmm, aum chanting. After samyama, only I discover that I have done incorrectly after 1.5 years. And I will do this more.

Today initiation, wow, I was 'flying', similar experience during shoonya pgm. My head was rolling and I was dancing. Something has definitely changed inside me.