Samyama - definitely got something (2)

Mar 9

The Power of Now
Negativity ranges from irritation or impatience to fierce anger, from a depressed mood or sullen resentment to suicidal despair.

The ego believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality and get what it wants. It believes that through it, it can attract a desirable condition or dissolve an undesirable one.

A Course in Miracles rightly points out that, whenever u r unhappy, there is the unconscious belief that the unhappiness buys u what u want.
If "you" - the mind - did not believe that unhappiness works, why would you create it?
The fact is, of course, that negativity does not work. Instead of attracting a desirable condition, it stops it from arising. Instead of dissolving an undesirable ones, it keeps it in place.
Its only "useful" function is that it strengthen the ego, and that is why the ego loves it.

Soul
Since young, during primary school. I have moted that "worry" about things that are lost doesn't bring them back. So whenever I lost something, m not worried. I said that even if I worry, it doesn't come back. So why waste time n be unhappy.
Mmm, perhaps that's why I hav a happy go lucky personality.

For the CEO, whenever she is negative, people scrambles and she got what she wants. So she continue. I guess she gets what she wants, d small things, big things she can't have.

Evening
Jus finished my meditation.
D shakti was incredible. I was laughing so much (same level as during d samyama, when Sadhguru beating d drum) but this time no pain.
I was lying down, suddenly legs goes up 90 degree and stomach muscle not stretched, jus laughed and laughed. This is the first time I laughed so much on my own.
Then did samyama for 10 min. Amazing, breathe awareness and holding tots together.
Then a tot occur to me, it is not 'real time' cos m doing it after an amazing shakti.
Also, I noticed I do cut down time on samyama, at the most do 15 min. Of cos, for d first time, I am awake and refreshed during samyama but that's due to the amazing shakti.
So, from tomorro, change program. I have been asking people whether to do samyama before or after meditation, they says it doesn't matter, so no answer there.
From now onward, my schedule would be
Evening
1. Brahma Nadha
2. Samyama
3. Shoonya
4. Shakti.

Mornin
1. Guru Pooja
2. Hatha Yoga.
3. Breathe watching
4. Shambavi.

D morning one, am not sure but can try cos m 'sleepy during breathe watching after shambavi. Cos after meditation, m so relaxed. To close eyes again, is to induce sleep.

Thanks Sadhguru.

Sadhguru's poem
Inner delight
The toils of the endless days
The lonesomeness of the longer night
Amalgamated into brightness bright
Soaking me in an inner delight
The merciless longing and lack of belonging
Led me on into the wonderment of dissolving.

Soul
I was seeking, doing, discovering, uncovering my unconsciousness.
I always felt alone, no one could understand my intensity. I seek endlessly cos I want to be the master of my life, I don't wan to lead my life unconsciously, without my knowledge.
They tot I was too depressing at times, they tot I was going inward too much, they asked me to come out.
How can I come out to face the world when I don't know what's in me.
Yea, it was fear that drove me. But alas the doors are all open, am conscious now.
I am dissolving. I can now access the subtleness of nature, of music, of body movement.


Inner Engineering
I have been practising for nearly 2 years.
I have seen some meditators shares amazing transforming changes in their life.
For me, d changes is subtle, infact my family and friends thinks m d same, except that I am easier to live with.
Only I know the change. The change is in me.
I felt such sweetness in me, such contentment. Nothing need to happen, I just feel blessed and joyful. Even when things are bad, I still feel joyful.

There is not one day that I don't laugh. Everyday I laugh.
Life is sweet, so lovely, so easy. Amen

For someone that is tone deaf I discover that amazingly I am able to appreciate music, even orchestra music at KLCC.

I have 2 left feet and seldom dance but now I am dancing during meditation.

Soul
Sms sister to inform her that brother can't take leave, so why can't we do birthday on saturday.
She used to be the lead organiser and she is the lead resistant.
Of course mom is worried abt blow up. Saying is up to sis to practise her religion. She also says that brother not keen cos was in jb a day before.
In the end, mom is afraid of sadness among us.

I tot of myself.
Actually, I do felt resentment but at least I tell.
They jus hide n pretend it doesn't matter.
Father, sis is getting more evangelist. Probably she has lessons.
Tot of telling her put family before her practise. Tot of me and India, but I didn't hold up the CNY.
Aiyah, up to them lah. But its good that we do thrash out. Frankly, we may lose. Looked at P's brother.
If I were to tell her family takes first wit me; or perhaps may not be true; she will says m not as committed as her, which is true.

Sadhguru
Himalayan lust.
If u r not in love, then u must know something else. You must know the blissfulness of just ur existence; not being happy about something; jus being blissful, ur very existence being blissful. Every cell in ur body become sweet.
You don't love anybody, you don't like or dislike anybody - u r just pleasant.
When u r simply so sweet and pleasant within urself, ur very presence is pleasant.
You don't have to kick up an emotion to be pleasant.
Anything that u look at, u touch or don't touch - everything is experienced as sweetness.

If u wan to walk the spiritual path, keeping urself - ur interiority - pleasant, is extremely important becos it's a very challenging path.
If u know how to keep ur interiority pleasant, if ur emotions are pleasant always, then walking the path becomes a joyful process.

Soul
Amazing coincidental. I was just talking abt feeling sweet.