Samyama, anything??? - part 4

Mac 2

Father, did my meditation today. Since m back, I don't recall any laughing experience but m fine.

Its true m disappointed wit samyama or perhaps myself. The price paid is not worth d prize or there is no prize.
The good thing is at least I now cut down half an hour at night vs 40 days.

The Issue - the Master
The whole work of meditation is to make u aware of all that is "mind" and disidentify from it. That very separation is the greatest revolution that can happen to man. Now u can do and act only that which makes u more joyous, fulfills u, gives u contentment, makes ur life a work of art.
There is no blissfulness more precious than freedom than being a master of ur own destiny.

Soul - Yday rec a call from headhunter on job offer as FD of a bigger company, same industry. I wasn't keen but I can see my mind was exploring. But yday evening, I recalled my RA and that makes d decision clear. Also, like BE, I too don't want to slough again, in something that m not enthusiatic about. RA, blessing in disguise.
I also checked my Top 5 Passion and it is intact. Only thing to add is Life Coach, 7thunder and writing course. Mmm, perhaps m on track.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Participation
Make participation ur lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. You could not hav dreamed of a better universe.

Soul - mmm, not sure abt this. I know IE is in Mar, don't plan to be in per se. Will go 1st day for support, but not sure if I wan to share as m not enthusiatic. For now, m goin thru d motion, jus need to ride
this phase and to follow wit breathe watching and samyama. Jus send some sms to a few people, if they r meant to do, they will follow thru.

3. External influence
Courage
The seed is safe but the sprout is not. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the source of light, not knowing d outcome. Much courage is needed.
Be courageous enough to grow into the flower u r meant to be.

Soul - I was disappointed wit samyama, not only becos of d subtle meditation that takes real commitment to practice but I was lookin for a personal transformation, for courage, for signs to spur me ahead. And I got nothing. So, now I hav to go ahead alone. And here headhunters are callin me, to go back to my old path. Only thing is RA reminds me not to go back.

4. What is needed for resolution
Ice-olation.
The boundary between "I" and "not I" is what the self is - the self isolates.
If u r flowing, the self cannot exist.
Hence people becomes almost like ice-cubes. They don't have any warmth, they don't have any love - love is warmth and they are afraid of love.
If warmth comes to them, they will start melting and the boundaries will disappear. In love, the boundaries disappear ; in joy also, the boundaries disappear, becos joy is not cold.
Its ok to cry, crying helps us to let go of pain, shows us to be gentle with ourselves, and finally helps us to heal.

Soul - my issue wit rship or rather no rship is my karma. And also now to go ahead on my own, also scary. Yea, I hav been bottling my feeling of fear. Tonite go back to have a good cry cos I hav to go alone.
Of cos, part of me also fear of having one as old hurt will arise. I m in a dilemma. Fear of not having and also of having. No wonder in limbo. Which fear is more? Well, fear of having. At least without a ptnr, I won't hav to be vulnerable, only thing is the courage to move forward alone in my new path.

5. The understanding
Innocence
Zen says if u driop ur knowledge, there will be a totally different quality to ur being : Innocence. This will be a crucifixion of the personality, and there will be a resurrection of ur innocence. You will become a child again, reborn.
Now is a time to let go, relax into sweetness.
The innocence that comes from a deep experience of life is childlike, but not childish. The innocence of children is beautiful but ignorant. But the innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changinhg wonder of life.

Soul - amen.

Afternoon
Jus did my shoonya. Felt good. I did laugh, jus feeling good. Didn't want to wake up. Did abt 20 min.

The Power of Now
Whenever anything negative happens to u, there is a deep lesson concealed within it, although u may not see it at the time. Even a brief illness or an accident can show u what is real and unreal in ur life, what ultimately matters and what doesn't.
Seen from a higher perspective, conditions are always positive. To be more precise, they are neither positive nor negative. They are as they are.

When u live in complete acceptance of what is - there is no "good" or "bad" in ur life anymore.
There is only a higher good - which includes the "bad".
This is not denial. You are not pretending. U r allowing it to be as it is, that's all.
This "allowing to be" takes u beyond the mind with its resistance patterns that create the positive-negative polarities. It is an essential aspect of forgiveness.
Forgiveness of the present is even more important than forgiveness of the past.
If u forgive every moment - allow it to be as it is - then there will be no accumulation of resentment that needs to be forgiven at some later time.
Remember, we r not talkin abt happiness. We r talking abt inner peace.
Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.

There may be sadness and tears, but provided u have relinquished resistance, underneath the sadness u will feel a deep security, a stillness, a sacred presence. This is the emanation of Being, this is inner peace, the good that has no opposite.

It seems that most people need to experience a great deal of suffering before they will relinquish resistance and accept - before they will forgive.
As soon as they forgive, miracle happens: the transmutation of suffering into inner peace.
The ultimate effect of all the evil and suffering in the world is that it will force humans into realising who they are beyond name and form.
Thus what we perceive as evil from our limited perspective is actually part of the higher good that has no opposite.

Soul - my expereince of suffering is blessing; hence my blog name.

The Power of Now
The miracle of transformation happens not only within but also without.
A silent space of intense presence arises both in u and around u.
Whoever or whatsoever enters that field of consciousness will be affected by it, sometimes visibly and immediately, sometimes at deeper level wit visible changes appearing at a later time.
You dissolve discord, heal pain, dispel unconsciousness - without doing anything - simply by being and holding that frequency of intense presence.

Soul
I know that stranger are very comfortable wit me, they open up and share their life stories.
I know that old people likes me a lot cos they says m real. My laughter is genuine.
I know I make both male and female comfortable. I can mix with both rich and poor people. I can mix wit all races, black or white.
I know my boss will always calm down when she sees me. I know my friends, colleague and family members will always seek me whenever they r down. I always able to give them alternative view.
Yea, now time to spread my wings.

The Power of Now
When u r fully conscious, drama does not come into ur life anymore.
Ego is the unobserved mind that runs ur life when u r not present as the witnessing consciousness, the watcher.
The basic ego patterns are designed to combat its own deep-seated fear and sense of lack. They are resistance, control, power, greed, defense, attack.

When u reconnect wit ur Being and are no longer run by ur mind, u cease to create those things. You do not create or participate in drama anymore.

When u feel sorry for urself, that's drama. When u feel guilty or anxious, that's drama. When u let the past or future obscures the present, u r creating time, psychological time - the stuff out of which drama is made.

Soul
I recall I was feeling sorry for myself d first day when I sprained my ankle during samyama. Then second day, I was becoming anxious. Towards third day, I heard Sadhguru poem that his enlightenment comes out of heartbreaking sadhanas. I tot since my journey via Isha has been so smooth, its time I encountered some diffculties. With that, I took charge of my mind and stop d drama. Then miraculously third day, when we were asked to get up to dance, I did whole heartedly and my sprain was cured. In the afternoon, I can walk slowly without any pain. Miracle. But it happen cos I stop creating drama in my mind.

The Power of Now
When u live in complete acceptance of what is, that's the end of all drama in ur life. Nobody can even have an argument wit u, no matter how hard he or she tries.
You cannot have an argument with a fully conscious person. Argument implies identification wit ur mind and a mental position, as well as resistance and reaction to the other's position.
You can still make ur point clearly and firmly but there will be no reactive force behind it, no defense or attack. So, it won't turn into a drama.

When u r fully conscious, u cease to be in conflict.
This refers not only to conflict with other people but more fundamentally to conflict within u which ceases when there is no longer any clash between the demands and expectation of ur mind and what is.