Samyama - perhaps something??

Mar 3
Father, did my mornin meditation. Surprisingly no laughing during shambavi but laughing during breathing meditation.
I am not sure of d progress, if any but m focused.

After watching yday korean drama, d scenes were played in my mind. I was happy and cannot sleep but I recalled d Power of Now and I shut down. When I woke up, d scene again played in my mind. I tot good thing to practice on.

I also recalled during d samyama period, I discover that we tend to debate wit our mind and that keep it alive. Samyama doesn't debate, it jus allow d mind to be and then d unnecessary tot dissolve on its own.

Actually was thinkin, wit me on 3 days, one of my project would be to promote Isha. It is always too late. By right d work shld start at least 1.5 months before the IE programme. I am a strategist. Might as well make use of it. And it will help people.

Mmm, suddenly tot of my Osho Internal Influence card - Participation
You hav an opportunity to participate with others now to make ur contribution to creating something greater and more beautiful than each of u could manage alone. Your participation will not only nourish u, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.

Soul
Mmm, I am surprised on my enthusiasm. When I finished wit Samyama, I was dwelling in my disappointment, tot no Help there and d meditation is so difficult to practice. But now that I know m not alone, I will preservere. Besides I do like d breathing meditation. As for d samyama, not sure if m on d right track. Will ask Teacher.
Yea, stop dwelling abt myself. Start to participate.

Reading abt the Power of Now's take on relationship released my self judgement on my spiritual devt.

The Power of Now
Thru allowing the "isness" of all things, a deeper dimension underneath the play of opposites reveals itself to u as an abiding presence, an unchanging deep stillness, an uncaused joy beyond good and bad. This is the joy of Being, the peace of God.

Soul
I experienced this on daily basis.

The Power of Now
There are cycles of success, when things come to u and thrive, and cycles of failure, when they wither or disintegrate and u have to let them go in order to make room for new things to arise, or for transformation to happen. If u cling and resist at that point, it means u r refusing to with the flow of life and u will suffer.
Dissolution is needed for new growth to happen. One cannot exist without the other.
The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realisation.

Ironically my 7thunder card for today.
Ace of clubs
The birth of new idea/plan of communicating with the world around u. To pursue some new plans u make.
Good time to start something new.

Here, I am embarking to promote Isha.

Evenin
Met d meditators. Two of them have an emotional upheaval when they returned from d program in Ashram. I said, how come they have so much experience/changes when they come back. For me, no major change. One of d meditators said I already have lots of experience during programme.
Today during meeting, suddenly feeling breathless. I have to stand up to get air. I tot we were sitting too closely to each other. Then when I stand up and look, I saw all d buildings cocoon like a courtyard and air is stagnant as d building is abt 7 floors up.
I hurriedly come back as I know I cannot eat there, especially indian food some more. Also, I wanted to watch d korean drama.

Only have 40 min for meditation. Did brahma Nanda and Shoonya. The Shoonya, I was laughing and mid way, I suddenly humming and dancing. I just let it be. First time dancing in Shoonya. Remind me of my experience in samyama programme - breathe watching.
Then I did 10 min of samyama. Suddenly start to cry and then laugh and later started dancing.
Felt great. A good release. The first breakthru since I come back from samyama programme.
Suddenly tot of GM and ex-boss of their migraine. After finished meditation, send sms to GM.

Jus read Sadhguru's poem
Empty
Would thinking minds ever know the brilliance in me that would put the poor sun to shame. And it is not me.

Would curious minds ever know this ecstasy that this grave visage masks. And it is not me.

Would objective minds ever know that these stern eyes could exude love that could turn stones into beating hearts. And it is not me.

Oh how shall I tell u my predicament
I am empty but full.

Soul - I do on the ecstasy. On d brilliance and love, I haven't experience yet.
On the emptiness but full, I hav such experience.
When I do Shoonya, I just felt nothing and yet it felt so complete, at ease.
Jus now I cried and then follow by laughter. I know it is not me, don't know why m laughing and dancing.

Amen. Jus now I told them I hav paid d price for samyama but I hav not received d goods. Alas, m dancing and that is d goods.
My guilt and judgement is gone and I m freed from my own chain of self-control.
Father, thank u.
Today I also told d Isha teacher that m goin to be on 3 days work week and I will have time to help her on d PR and marketing of Isha. She is happy and thanked me.
I am opening up. I am participating without. I have always participate fully within during meditation and hence d wonderful and sorrowful experiences.
Yeap, this is one of d price.