A new beginnng with my Heart

Jan 8
Father, thank u so much for answering my call.
Today woke up at 4.30 am when alarm rang. I was feeling bit tired cos slept after 11 plus yesterday. I couldn't sleep immediately, so I focus on my breathe and within minutes, I slept. I was tired with all the crying.

Did my asanas, breathing, shakti and shambhavi. I had some tots of Z and office matters. surprisingly happy tots of future with Z, I snapped it off cos Z is getting married to someone else. Then sad tots of him. I just continues with my practices.
When I did aum chanting, suddenly I cried, I told Z he hurt me, I m hurting terribly, I won't pretend.
When I was having my quiet time, suddenly an exhale came and I start to cry out loud for 2 times.
When I m done, I was laughing and Z was still in my prayer of thanks.

I felt renewed and know today is my new beginning with my heart in place. I now knew why I don't display the normal characteristic of Cancer zodiac as my heart is locked. Thanks to Dhynalinga, my heart is finally released.
It may be broken but it can healed and be whole again. I am no longer afraid of tears, they are healing.

1. Issue
Integration
We are the union of eagle and swan; male and female, fire and water, life and death. The card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life, and mystical union; otherwise known as alchemy.

Soul
Perfect. My heart is now with me. A new beginning. I was living as an eagle and now the swan is out. No wonder I felt such love, I can see the loveliness of me, the beauty of myself. A grace  to the world.

2. Internal influence
Ice-olation
We may have felt that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If our pain is particularly deep, we might even hide it from ourselves. This can make us frozen, rigid.
The tears, only the tears have the power to melt the ice. It is ok to cry, and there is no reason to feel ashamed of ur tears. Crying helps us to let go of the pain, allow us to be gentle with ourselves, and finally helps us to heal.

Soul
Father, yes, finally can let go and cry whenever I m sad.
Yes, it was easier for me to switch off, but I got numbness on my hand and long term impact is RA. I will be my friend, not my enemy. I allowed myself to cry with gratefully instead of seeing myself as weak.

3. External influence
Healing
Be aware of ur wounds. Don't help it to grow. Let it be healed.
The figure in this card is now naked, vulnerable, open to the loving touch of existence. The aura around his body is full of light, and the quality of relaxation, caring and love that surrounds him is dissolving his struggle and suffering.
We can be healed.

Soul
Amen

4. What is needed for resolution?
The Source
We tap the source not by thinking or planning but by getting grounded, centered and silent enough to be in contact with the Source.

Soul
I know.






5. Resolution
Fighting
By covering our wounds with armour, we are preventing them from being healed. By lashing out at others, we keep ourselves from getting the love and nourishment we need.
Stop fighting. Much love is available to you if u just let it in. Start by forgiving urself. U r worth it.

Soul
Fighting has stopped. I was fighting with myself. Eagle try to suppresed the swan. Both are needed.
 
Yes, shame on Z for being back handed. My love is pure and unconditional.

Six of Diamonds
This is a powerful stabilising card resulting in some sort of settling of accounts.

Soul
Yes.