My heart is broken, but I found my heart

Jan 7 Eve
I cried on my way home. My heart felt painful similar pain during melt down at Dhynalinga. Then a tot came, but u found ur heart.
Yes, my heart may be broken buy I found it. And I know it will heal. Alas, I saw the beautiful, courageous gal who is pure in her loving.

Shame on Z for not being truthful when he has already found another. If I had not pressed, he would have still kept it from me. And if it not true, then he doesn't deserve my love. He couldn't overcome his own challenge.

I felt love for myself. I am truly lovable. It is Z's loss, not mine. Amazingly beautiful. After the tears, I was laughing.


My eyes is painful from so much crying. Now eyes bit blur when I m typing. I be fine, let me heal my RA. I felt this is a new beginning for me, living with my heart instead of mind.

I also had a tot, since my dream is self-mastery and not love, means I already got love, I just need to unravel it. I found my heart and I finally feel love for myself. Others always say I m self centred, I seem to put myself first. But it is just surface cos I was just projecting an image. Alas, I truly love myself. Amen.

From happy to sad to joy
From self centred to self enemy to self love. Amen.

Osho
When u feel happiness from music, it is actually coming from within u: it is ur own juices that u r drinking. When u get pleasure from making love, this pleasure is coming from within u: u r savouring ur own juices.

Whenever u have found happiness ...perhaps u were in the Himalayas, looking at the lofty snow covered peaks, and u were overwhelmed, speechless, and an exclamation of joy suddenly arose. The peace, the silence, the presence of the unprecedented beauty of the Himalayas freed u for a moment from ur mad race for self-gratification. Once that desire has been broken, once ur mind stops its activities for even one moment, the juices flow from u

Soul
Father, I experience bliss and joy when Z and I make love. But I knew he doesn't reach my depth.  So, this could be right, it from me, not Z.
Father, Thank You so much.
Again, perfect timing. I read this book of Daya and then stop about a month ago for Christ Returns and The fall of human intellect  and now continues back a few dsys ago and here I am, perfect message for me today.

Could hear P said I told u so, Z was never interested in marrying you. Both of u has different view on marriage. Also tot of Z sharing about me with his future wife Well, I will just ignored these tots since I can choose happy tots.

Osho
The mind stops the flow of ur juices. The mind is always interested in the other. Whenever the mind stops, ur interest in other disappears and u immediately fall back to ur own original source. And the stream of juices is there. Raso vai sah - in the divine is rasa, the juice.

We are all made of rasa; rasa is our self nature. Once we begin to recognise ourselves, there will be nothing but happiness.