Having tots on Z (2)

Dec 29
Just done my morning practices. It was good. Had some tots of Z, but I remember my dream is self mastery. I don't need emotional power over others. I don't seek approval. I only defend approval given due to my Outsider card, fear of being excluded.

I had a tot of telling him I too dreamt of a having a baby gal with him. But then a tot came, his come back should be because he love me, not because I want a child. Also, the chances of me having a baby is very small.

Anyway, leave it. I tot that if I m with him, there be a tendency for me to slack my practices as he doesn't do it. So, best my partner do too, so we r then compatible and journey be easier. It is just like me going for 3 days week so I can do my practices.

Sadhguru
Ashram's energy is not something that u can master, is not something u can reject. Either u melt into it, or u suffer. That is the only it is. Because the whole spiritual process means just that: that u r willing to melt away ur individuality to experience the universality. If you don't want to melt away ur individuality, u should not talk spirituality.

Soul
Tot of this vs my dream of self-mastery. It is not controlling myself, it is acceptance, going with the flow.
Z has moved on, so I too follow him and moved on.