I dont want to feel sad on Z

Dec 27 Eve
Father, just did Shoonya and Samyama. Tears finally came for Z. I imagined his future wife and I cried cos I hoped to grow old with him.  But no more hope as he has moved on.
After Shoonya, my Samyama was ok. Then I finished off by laughter.

Father, guide me through. Since Z cannot give me commitment, best that we ended sooner than later. Actually our break up starts from early July and dragged till now.

Now sadness comes. This time truly no hope unlike prior breakup. My tears started to drop but I don't want to cry. No point crying spilt milk. Crying prolongs it. I don't want to be sad.

A tot came, crying cleansed it. Hence ice-olation card.

Tears dropped a bit. But I didn't let it prolong cos I don't want to be sad especially when I feel stupid for going back n got myself rejected royally.

Osho
The first and foremost thing is to be loving towards yourself. Don't be hard; be soft. Care about yourself. Learn how to forgive yourself - again and again - seven times, seventy seven times, seven hundred seventy seven times.
Don't be hard. Don't be antagonistic towards yourself. Then u will flower. And in that flowering, you will attract some other flower.
Stones attract stones; flowers attract flowers. And then there is relationship which has grace, which has beauty, which has a benediction in it.
And if u can find such a relationship, ur relationship will grow into prayer, ur love will become an ecstasy and thru love, u will know what God is.

Soul
Another encouragement to cry.