It is not Z's money issue...it is me I need to look at..

Jan 20 Aft
Father, what a mirror!  I have always pride myself the better manager of finance. Part of me did look down at him when he was so broke that he has to borrow some money from me.

I guess that was his lowest point and for me, a big fear that my partner can be that low.

I think mainly due to my past childhood memories where there were only 20 dollars left in my dad's biz kitty and I took the money to pay the trishaw uncle.  My sis was crying that I was so blur that I didn't knew how seriously dire straits our family were in. And since I took the money, what's left for food tomorrow. That memory haunts me. I swore never be in that state again, hence my money accumulation mode.

When Z was in that state, I tot I saw dad and I was frightened. I know I sounded angry and made Z feels bad. When he broke off with me in mid July, he quoted this incident whereby I made him feel small.

For the first time, I see maybe I could be wrongly asserted my pride in financial management. Maybe I need to see myself instead of judging Z.

While Z may have an issue in keeping money....and I have no issue...BUT I have an issue in creating money whereas Z has no issue...

After 2 years, I finally see my mirror...

I feel bit dejected and humbled...

I wish I can apologise to him but it is too late...he has left us...