Melt down required

Jan 10 Eve 1
Feeling better after the long cry. I now knew, there was an auto switch on my tears, it is switched off when I just start to cry. It allows a drop or two. After meditation, I can cry bit more. Now I knew why the clamp up against Dhynalinga, cos I m afraid to open. When I did, a meltdown came and such anguish arise.

So Deb Shapiro's interpretation on blocked nose is true.

Blocked nose
Ur blocked nose may be due to having a cold but it could also reflect a need to release some deep grief or sadness. Feelings get locked inside and they need to be aired.
Unexpressed tears can find their way out through a runny nose: ur emotions are literally pouring out of you.

Soul
I was frozen and meditation and finally Dhynalinga freed me. Z's back handed marriage plan was just the switch I need to turn on my tears, to melt.

Now I finally accept the Ice-olation card of unshed tears. It say joy can melt the ice and allow tears to be released. I m finally freed. I can now hear my inner voice, I will cherish myself.

Osho
Awareness is a very subtle energy. Either it keeps flowing out through ur senses, and then it is not really under ur control,... ur senses are causing ur awareness to wander who knows where, to what places. And then whatever each sense is telling u about the world, that is what u think life is. But the senses have no way of knowing the truth. The senses are blind. Only the witness inside u has the possibility of knowing the truth; no one has.
The information the senses give u is simply a matter of habit. U see what u have become used to seeing. When u trained urself, even bitter things like wine and coffee taste sweet. It is only matter of training, a matter of habit, and has no relationship with the truth.

Soul
For food is true.
A tot came. I recalled prior to the incident, I cried loads. Mom told me I will simply cry non stop till I sleep. Then after the incident, I stopped crying.

Osho
Senses cannot be trusted. Ur perception is akin to ur passion. It changes.