Cosmic Lesson (70) - wavering of ending (2)

Jun 11 Eve

Father, its evening. Sadness seeping in. Now negative tots start to occur.
Anyway, I am liberated. Its just my mind playing tricks.
What I know is the buck stops here, next call is his.

His Nine of Heart year is true. Firstly with me, secondly with ex. Same timing. I think he could have chicken out as he remembers the sadness he faced when rship didn't goes well. When he shared with me his dumping stories, I salute him for having courage to pursue.
So, same situation goes both. For me, I would take it that the other part has end and I too would start on my own. But for Z, it may be the other way. His strategy to counter was to be wealthy and complete his Phd. So, he would need to resolve this.
Of cos, tots came in said my timing is not correct. But looks likes its correct.
Aiyah, don't know lah. My mind is on.

Just did the meditation. It was transcending ur desolation. I found myself not as desolate. I was dancing to it. I also tot of Z and I said I accepts its ending. Coincidentally the article on Deflation, which is on Z made me remember how he couldn't break thru his issue. So, now I am doubtful he would change. Doesn't matter. What matters is I stop.
And coincidentally my skin irritation also stops early this week.

Father, I can see Z's problem. The old me would try to resolve it with Eight of Heart, thinking that it would help me. The new me would just leave Z to work on its own. Ultimately that is his lesson. I have learnt mine with him and I can move on.

He is needy and while on one hand he wants me, but he doesn't want to change to get me. He put the onus on me instead. Anyway, the buck stops here. I want him but I don't need him. Actually I am the strong one, I am more secure than him. But I don't want to judge as he has been through many failures.
Father, the time for pill has come. At first I went to eat. Then I tot if he does come back, ask him to wear precaution instead. Even the pill timing also perfect as it end this week. Nine of Heart is ending. Five of Heart is changing. So, just accept it.