Cosmic Reward - ending is destined

Jun 9

Father, Thank U.
When I was doing hata, I already can sense the difference in me. Somehow I got in deeper, I connected in some of the asanas and my mother asanas was great.
When I did Shakti, during kapala Bhakti, I was in deep. When I did shambavi, I was even singing.
In the end, while there was no expression, I knew I was in deep.

Father, at the start of practice, my mind was still issuing dilemma that I lost him. Then a tot came in, Nine of Hearts in Pluto, ending of rship. Then it hit me, this is the ending. And the same like Z, he too has Nine of Heart, but in Long Range. So, to him, it just an event and does not affect him. For me, it is a challenge to end. I also remember it said that I met a man from past life and had meaningful connection but there is no change to my romantic status. So, its clear now.
I then just said I accept the ending and I sense a calmness and the dilemma stops.

Later, when I wanted to wear my jade pendant, it slip out of my hand to the floor, and broke. A tot came to me, u r healed n the jade has done its job.

Father, everything pointed there. I will call him tonight. I will also give him the body wash on sathsang. His role was to heal my physical part. I am freed of my past and I can open up and enjoy physical pleasure and I am even good at it cos I like it.
Our rship need to end, cos my emotional door is opening and Z doesn't want it. That's why we r ending.
Father, thank U.

Ace of Diamond
Three of Hearts in Displacement
Emotional uncertainties and indecision may become a drain on ur energy. If u r feeling dissatisfied with ur current rship, u may find that the answer to ur dilemma is learn to provide ur own emotional security and not seek it from external source.
Three of Hearts often makes us very intellectual when it comes to matters of the heart. We tend to have our concerns rolling around and around in our head and attempt to apply all sorts of concepts to our situation, when what we really need is to feel our feelings and trust our experiences. U may find that u r doing a lot of soul-searching this year, a process of turning ur attention within to find the real answers.

Soul
Yea, if I used my mind, I can stay. First mind says no, then body say yes and I went in. But my feelings says no whenever he reminds me that we r for short term. It has been saying no silently but I ignored it because I was pursuing my path. And it was right, my Past was cleared and my physical door open and become clear again.
And now its ending, I still want to proceed further, out of greed. That's why the feeling exploded and cried out No more, No more.
Nine of Hearts in Pluto
This year u will likely have one or more of ur most important rship coming to an end. The time has come to let go and move on and yet, it may not be easy to do.
Either u r wanting it to end and that is a problem for u or u don't want to end and it is ending anyway.
Personal attachments may be surfacing that make these endings very difficult.
These endings could manifest as divorce, either personally or professionally.
If the endings leaves u disappointed in anyway, it is likely that u r emotionally attached to someone. It is likely that u have an internal conflict about this. There are probably two parts inside urself - one that wants an ending and one that doesn't.
If u can tune in to yourself, u may be able to resolve this inner conflict and reach a place of acceptance.
The Universe is dictating that the ending must happen. If u change ur perspective, u may discover that these endings are really the best thing for all concerned, and that includes u.

Affirmation
I am letting go of relationships that were once good for me, but now have outlived their purpose in my life. I set myself free to move on to better relationships.

Soul
Why I didn't read this when I was having the conflict throughout the journey with him. I tried to run away a few times. And this time it just happen, without me trying. And this morning I found my acceptance. The Universe further affirms it by breaking the jade. Amen.

I feel much better now cos earlier part of the dilemma is worried if I have completed my cosmic lesson as I don't want to re-do again. Looks like lesson ended.