Cosmic Reward - benefits from ending

Jun 16

Father, I woke up around 3 am. Tot of Z. He planned the conversation. He wanted to end it. He wanted to pay everything off to ensure full closure. I am not sure, but somehow I feel ok it is finally closed. I don't want to judge him. I never had his experiences. He had his own path and I had mine. I have already cleared my Past. Just take him as a reminder not to go back to Past. I am not sure how, but I move on.

He does like me and want to be with me. If I am not from the association, we would got together openly.
He cannot be open with me because I am from the association. If we break up, he would have to leave association. He cannot afford to have his haven shaken. He would have nothing else. So, I am lovable but he just cannot take the risk. In the end, he is just self-protect as he has been badly damaged. I will give him space.

I needed the breakup to give me proof that I am indeed lovable even if someone decide to leave me. I broke it up because I want to be happy, I don't want to be in a secret relationship that cannot grow.

He needed the breakup to know how much fear controlled him until he cannot move. Father, protect him. On my part, I will not ignore him or give him hardtime during sathsang. association is his haven and only savior.

Father, again is unhappiness that drives people. I am now determined to make my website work. The world needs help to light up their minds.

Father, I am not sure. Could be crazy but somehow I know we will be together again. I guess that's the same confidence he had that I will call him back.

Such irony! I recall I had a Jack of Club as result, success in writing. Coincidentally the break up make me motivated to write as I want to light up minds.
Tot of writing to him but I ignore it. We both needed this break up. We release each other.

The Science of Mind
As Christ awakens, the divine spark - shot from central fires of the Universal Flame - is able to warm other souls by the radiance of its own self-unfoldment.
We give only what we have.
The Christ places His hand in the outstretched hand of the Universe and walks unafraid through life.

Soul
Yea. The rship ended and I am now determined to continue with my writing. I will drop Isha. Like I told Z, Isha is not my goal. I am still afraid. Don't know what the future hold. I just have to reach out to the Source whenever I am afraid.

Adventure
Insecurity is the only way to grow, to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow
Whenever we move into the new and unknown with the trusting spirit of a child, innocent and open and vulnerable, even the smallest things of life can become the greatest adventure.

Soul
Tot of messaging him and said he is still a diamond so he won't feel bad. Then a tot came, he need to go thru the bad feeling to know he need to change.
Suddenly tot such irony I got his age wrongly when I read his Destiny card. If I had know his Nine of Heart Long Range is this year, I don't think I will got in. Alas, mistake happen for a reason. And if I had remember my Nine of Heart Pluto in Ruling card, I definitely won't go in. So, everything happen for a reason so that I can go in.
And the message of his ex-wife marriage came at the same day we were supposed to reconcile. It throw him back to past. So, again meant to happen.

The Science of Mind
God neither punishes nor rewards. Life is a blessing or a curse, according to the use we make of it. In the long run, no one judges us but ourselves and no one condemns us but ourselves. We believe in a law that governs all things and all people. If we make mistakes, we suffer. We are our own reward and own punishment.

Some suffer, some are happy, some unhappy, according to the way they contact life. No one judges us but ourselves. No one gives to us but ourselves and no one robs us but ourselves.
When we make mistakes, we suffer the consequences. When by reason of enlightenment and understanding, we correct such mistakes, we no longer suffer from them. Understanding alone constitutes true salvation either here or hereafter.

Soul
Suddenly tot I have completed my Cosmic and Saturn lessons with Z and hence I got good report.

The Science of Mind
We need fear nothing in the Universe. We need not be afraid of God.
Nature will not let us stay in any place for too long. She will let us stay just long enough to gather the experience necessary to the unfolding and advancement of the soul.
Nature demands the change in order that we may advance. When the change comes, we should welcome it with a smile on the lips and a song in the heart.