Cosmic Reward - ending is destined (4)

Jun 10 aft
Z is supposed to be a wealthy man.
But not aggressive enough
When business are not moving, he become complacent. He should be aggressive, determined.

Mmm, no wonder he can see me as lazy bum. No one has called me lazy before except for him.

Mmm, just had an idea
To me being a couple, means to grow together.
To realise our own personal dream.
For him is his business
For me is my writing.
And me, can be a CEO Coach, so he has me for free. I am always helping others, why don't I help my husband instead.
So, I am a good support to him.
That's great. Even tot of promoting myself. Actually I am a diamond too.

Me, a worrier and easily affected by people.
Tend to be too helpful and take over other people problem.

So, it is great that I took up meditation. And it is true. I used to take people's problem personally. Even company's problem, I took as mine. And now I know how to push back and asked my friends to settle their own problem. They cannot keep on asking me.
I start with Ja, then YL.

And being a worrier. When Z gave me the On option, I wanted it but I was worried if I cannot fulfill the terms. What if I don't like him after one year, what if I can't gave birth, I don't mind having one child but not three children. I was worried. If left to Z, he just bulldozed.

Actually throughout the teleconversation he was trying to tell me he had feelings for me too but I keep on ignoring it cos I was focused on the ending and I tot he only cared abt my body. And he even said sex is just an expression of his feeling for me. He cannot do sex with just simply anyone.
He also said he try to stop his feeling and so stop calling me. But I called him and his feeling came. But again I ignored it.