Cosmic Reward (64) - Opening up to others

Jun 2 Eve

Father, the mind is incredible. First the grandiose tot that Z misses me and he called me and want us to be on tomorrow. Fact is he won't. He is fixed in his mind.
For me, today not sure why. Suddenly I open up to LK on my website. She quickly read and text me;
Hey... I really enjoy reading yr stories!! Can relate to myself in many aspects!

She also told me that after reading the articles, she initiated a transformation.
So, looks like it did help like I said it would. I am on the right track.

Heal ur life
Skin problems - rash
Cause - anxiety, fear. Old buried guck. I am being threatened.

New tot pattern.
I lovingly protect myself with tots of peace and joy. The past is forgiven and forgotten. I am free in this moment.

Now running thru my Vision Book. Read my vision on my partner that I wrote back in Sept 2010. I already have loads of it with Z. The main thing was that I m just being myself in the relationship. I showed both my positive and negative side. We enjoyed each other company.
So, it is happening. Let me have faith.

Expect a Miracle
Through meditation, ur vibration rises and deepens at the same time, affecting ur tots, perceptions, actions and ultimately, people raction to u. U will draw in loving relationships and reject lower energy situation.

Soul
Today I was feeling bit down and not so keen on meeting up V. Coincidentally he text me about half an hour before we meet and cancel it. So, I got what I want.

With Z, what's lacking was our spiritual interest. He is keen but not committed. Whenever I talk about meditation, he would bring up the topic of us. My topic are other people or things. His topic is mostly about me and us.
Yea, now I remember. He said just the other day that he is the one that is holding the relationship together.

This is what I am limited with Z. Emotionally available
Cos I am intense and I want to share my emotion. I used to hold up sadness and anger in my family. He must be willing to let me express. If he doesn't, I will clamp up and cannot be exuberant self.

While he let me express. He doesn't want us to go public and this hiding thingy gets to me.

(June 16 - yeap, and finally erupted a week later)