Cosmic Reward - beginning of ending

Jun 6 Aft

Father, I miss having him physically. By the time we meet next week, it will be one month. Suddenly a positive tot occur to me. The fact we are still so on to each other despite no meet up for one month, means it is not just physical, there is feelings between us.

He has told me his past life and future plans and I shared with him the salient ones. But we didn't share our feelings with each other.

The Issue
1. Aloneness
Loneliness is a negative state, as u miss the others.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself, is a positive state. U r so full of presence that u don't need anybody.

When there is no "significant other", we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings.
Be a light unto yourself. Ultimately each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.

Soul
Yea, I miss him. But I am fine, I will focus on fulfilling my destiny.
I used to think I am fine alone. But perhaps that's before I had Z. The test is to be in aloneness even when u have a partner.
I have to remember he is just one of my Top 5. He is not my Destiny, he is just my companion in my Destiny. And he cannot help me in my Destiny.

Just open up to Ch on my website. Father, slowly but surely I am opening up.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Rebirth
Camel, Lion and Child
Camel lives in delusion, thinking he"s at mountain peak, but really he is so concerned with others" opinion that he hardly has any energy of his own.
Emerging from the camel is the lion, we start saying no to the demands of others.
Finally the child emerges, neither acquiescent nor rebellious, but innocent and spontaneous and true to his own being.
Whatever the space u r right now - sleepy & depressed, or roaring and rebellious -- be aware that it will evolve into something new if u allow it. It is a time for growth and change.

Soul
I used to think m lion. But lately I think I am back to camel. I think it is a cycle. U grow to a certain stage, reach plateau and then grow again.
I am back to growing again. I want to go back to fulfilling my dream of being a Transformational leader. I want to write again. I have sort of settle down my issue with Z and now need to bring up my writing.

3. External influence
Flowering
Your blissfulness, ur benediction, ur ecstasy should not be contained within u. It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to strangers too.
This is real compassion, this is real love: sharing your enlightenment, sharing ur dance of the beyond.
You might feel like a garden of flowers right now, showered with blessings from everywhere. Spread ur joy around for all to share.

Soul
Yea. Tot of the articles about Z and me. I will share with him. If its fine, will share.
I need not be afraid.
As a Transformational leader, the price to pay is my privacy. If I don't share my lesson, how can I help others.
Louise Hay shared her past. Oprah also shared. All the leaders shared.

4. What is needed for resolution
Morality.
Awareness cannot do anything that is bad. Anything that comes out of it is simply beautiful, is simply right, and without any effort and without any practice.

It is important to remember all the judgements of the mind are just product of our conditioning. And whether our judgements are applied to ourselves or to others, they keep us from experiencing the beauty and godliness that lies within.
Only when we break through the cage of our conditioning and reach the truth of our own hearts can we begin to see life as it really is.

Soul
Yea. I was trapped in not opening up my website. Surprisingly now that I open up to Z and then my brother, I am less afraid to open up my website.

5. Resolution
The Outsider
The child cannot see that the chain holding the gate is not locked. All he had to do is open it.
U now have an opportunity to stop the tape, to quit tormenting urself with ideas that u r somehow not 'enough" to be accepted and included.
Recognise the roots of these feelings in the past and let go of the old pain.
It will bring u clarity to see how u can open the gate and enter that which u most long to become.

Soul
Exactly.