Cosmic Reward - ending is destined (6)

Jun 11

Ravi Shanker
If u face challenges from a young age, that means God has greater things in store for u. Don't give up hope. Fight for ur destiny because there is a silver lining behind every cloud.

Soul
Tot of this for Z. Suddenly I tot I am his silver lining.

He was telling me about how his first gal dumped him and then ex-gal dumped him and then his ex-wife. All these gals are strong person and were crazy about him but in then dumped him. He is afraid of being dumped again.

(Jun 21 - I can understand as he has so many dumping experience. I used to say he is so courageous for wanting to try despite so many failure. Actually, I was also afraid but seeing how he pursued his dreams despite so many failures, give me courage too. Mine is not even break up as I didn't even step into relationship. It did not even start.)

He called me but our discussion didn't go well. In the end, he too admitted Option 2 he can't go. I told him, precisely the reason why I said no to him.
When I asked him if he like me enough to make compromises. He keep on asking about the compromises. And I knew he didn't like me as much or rather he is so fixed on his goal.

For a moment, I can sense myself shutting down and going for Off mode. But I stopped myself and pursue it like a negotiation. I want him and he too want me but he got more worries than me.
I told him we still have our touch/go and I want us to meet up at least once a week. I don't need to see him everyday and I understand his priority for business/studies.

Net net that I want us to have an open relationship.
He was worried that Isha people found out about us. I told him I don't care.

(Jun 21 - This is his main concern. Now reading his ESTJ gave me clearer perspective. He really valued isha and see himself as good citizen. So, the reason he quoted me is his ideal. I rejected it totally as I never plan to be a good citizen. Actually he did try to discuss about Options, but I cut him off as I told him 'hiding' is not an option for me.)

Father, this a turnaround for me for me not to take things negatively and run away.
The beauty is that we can discuss this sensitive topic of breaking up or going to the next level.

Just listened to Sadhguru. I am moving along right direction. At first I tot the door is locked. Now I open it and offer Z another option. To me, I am liberated. It is his call now.
I was willing to change and compromise. He is not.
So, whatever the outcome, doesn't matter anymore. The next step is his. If he doesn't want to change. I wanted to. So, its off. If he wants to change, I am willing to change with him.

Its perfect. Both of us unwilling to change. That's why have a different race relationship. It forces us to change.