Cosmic Reward - beginning of ending (2)

Jun 6 Eve

Father, my friend's dad just passed away. Previously I would have just text her, which I did. I wouldn't have call her. I am glad I did and we chatted a bit.
Just now I tried to call Z, but I stop cos I don't want to depend on him. I can't depend on him. Tears just came. Partly tears of condolence for my friend and also some tears for myself. I have no one to share my feelings.

My issue for the week; Aloneness - Be a light unto yourself.

When I was watching the korean drama. I saw the guy smilingly received the call from the gal he like and the next moment switched off the phone when he received a call from the gal he doesn't.

Tot of what Z told me. He said when he respond to a person, that's means there is something going on. I guess that's was his msg to me. Yea, he wants me to be with him.

Expect a Miracle
Simply allowing yourself to have ur "dark" feelings loosens their grip.
The only way out is through. Accept where u are, and to forgive urself. Forgive urself.
Accept all the different aspects of urself, rosy or not. U r where u r because it was the best you could do up to now.

Soul
That's a difficult part for me. I was afraid of having the feeling. I avoided it. Now that I am with Z, the dark feeling came. I have learned to see it as a happy problem instead.

Father, a tot occurred to me. When Z made the deal to have a fling with me, he wasn't that much into me. He just wanted a companion as he was lonely. But I am so lovable that I am getting into his skin. He does not and cannot let go of me.

Like YL said, I am hard to ignore as I bring light to the room.

Expect a Miracle
If u r not using ur core energy with the intention of shifting ur potential, u r passively directing all ur creative output to the old habitual stuff.
Our tots, our focus, have to go somewhere, so if we don't consciously bring them to the image we wish to manifest, all of that energy will go right into making reappear the scenarios we so wanted to leave behind.
One way or the other our attention supports and grows whatever it focuses on, so now is the time really to decide on and make happen the vision of ur perfect mate.