Can I do without Z's validation of me?

Mar 24
Father, as I was reading my North node in Taurus, I just had a tot. No wonder I hold on to Z.
On the outside, I don't need a partner but inside me, I do. Acknowledging I need one is the first step.
It was said that having a partner validates me. Another one week to go till end March and it is inevitable that Z won't be coming back. So, what is my worth without Z?  Can I do being a single? Can I face the fact that I truly want a partner? Then if Z is not there, how? Is my hope gone? A tot came in, a few months later you will be with a new love. But I m not sure I am ready.

North node in Taurus
They are here to take back their power. When they stand in power, they can afford to be loving and helpful to others - not from a place of neediness but from a sense of contentment that enables them to be generous. Thus, their first responsibility is to themselves. To do things that bring recognition of their self worth and the contentment of enjoying life. This is a building lifetime: building a sense of comfort through their connection with themselves.

Soul
On first instance, I focus on myself. But behind the scene, I am not. And now I truly need to focus on myself.
Maybe that's why I m bit judgemental on others who don't focus on themselves cos deep down I don't.

Astrology for the soul
North node in Taurus
In past lives, their method of protecting themselves was revenge. If someone hurled a stone at them, they hurled a stone back - plus an additional stone to make sure that the person stopped.

Soul
That's true. I know I can 'kill' in the corporate world via emails. I normally easy going but when someone intrude, firstly I dislike it cos intruding my peace. Secondly I dislike it cos they force me to be bad and 'kill' them off.

North node in Taurus
To stand up to other powers was enlivening in those incarnations, but in this lifetime  it is a waste of energy - a distraction from their new, peaceful direction. They just want to build lives of comfort and stability and enjoy being on the earth.

Soul
Exactly. Only about 2 weeks ago, instead of my normal revenge mode on E, I took the peaceful mode and I got what I want quickly.
Next week another session with them.


North node in Taurus
Their consciousness was geared to crisis management and they have an addiction to excitement. Their desires was never satisfied, always wanting more.  To balance over active desire, they need to exercise the antidote, which is appreciation for what they already have. 

Soul
Up till age 40, I was on crisis mgm mode, continuously searching for excitement in career. Then it dwindled down but there was a slight activation last year due to fear. I was on crisis mgm for half a year and decided to walk out.
Now whenever I m not so happy with my boss, I will remember that I have got an understanding boss that allows me 3 days week.


North node in astrology
If they don't have a partner, they can say: "Thank you, Universe, for the friends, family, co-workers, pets etc that you have sent into my life to love me.
This is the key to fullness they have been seeking. It has nothing to do with what happens externally; it has to do with graciousness in accepting and appreciating what they have - with openness and feeling - they begin to experience the fullness of love inside them, which replace the agitation they have so often felt.

Soul
Father, Thank you, Universe, for the family, masters and books, fellow meditators, friends and co-workers that you have sent into my life to love me.