Lunar in 5th House - rship, children and own creativity

Mar 12
Woke up 4.30 am. Body is fine. Did 3 cycles of Surya kriya. Feels good especially 3 rd cycle. Still need time to remember breathe counting but postures are getting better. Not tired out as 12 cycles of Suria Namaskara and hence shorter Shavasana. But I think I can do 5 cycles or better not as focus is on breathing.
Shakti was good and today I can feel all the various stretch points when I changed my fingers arrangement. Shambavi was good too with violet flame Suka kriya. I had constant violet flame during aum chanting. The main things is very little throughout the practices.

Now breakfast and mind work on Z, saying that perhaps Z really has let go but difficult in telling me. So, there is a third scenario that's means we r truly over. Anyway, I ignored it. Irrespective of the scenarios, we are not together. I have been thru the break up.
I love Z but how he wants to do, avoid me or etc is up to him. I m no longer suffering. My faith is I be fine, with or without Z.

Spiritual Astrology
Lunar in 5th house
Lunar in Scorpio
You are learning how to take life less seriously and to play. You are also learning to accept good fortune and love. U tend want to know the motive behind everything that comes to u and to doubt whether u r really worthy of receiving it. By learning to release old emotional  insecurities, you are more willing to take chances, stepping out into life.

Soul
True. I do take my responsibility seriously. But these days, learning to let go and let be.


Lunar in 5th house
The lesson of accepting is a difficult one for u, yet it is essential that it be learned. If u r going to love the universe, u must first learn to love yourself.  To begin to love yourself means first getting over your hesitancy about accepting love, gifts and praise from others. When u live in a state of acceptance, u truly able to give love not only on an individual level but on a universal level. At that time u will come to ur own true power and have the ability to teach universal concepts.

Soul
True. First part was accepting I have unrequited love. Second part is learning all my hidden tendencies that conflict with my growth. Third step is accepting my destiny.
My Cosmic Reward Card is Nine of Hearts and that's also my 7 years period card till age 48 in Destiny.

Lunar in 5th house
This lifetime u r also learning how to deal with affairs of the heart, children and ur own creativity. Through procreation u learn how to incorporate the joy of ur creativity into this existence.

Soul
True on the affairs of the heart and my creations. I was going to say no to children but then I recalled part of the break up was my unwillingness due to fear of responsibility and need for pampering and inability to have children due to lack of fertility of old age.
Again, a lesson. Me who are not keen for children fell in love with a man who loves and need children.

Lunar in 5th house
As u begin to allow yourself to be proud and accept love from what u create in this existence, u also allow yourself to develop an ego and self identity through what u create. This helps u get more in touch with your creator and other universal energies.

Learning u have the ability to create puts u in touch with ur power to manifest ur own positive destiny. Through consciously creating what makes ur life happy, vital and alive, u learn up accept responsibility for creating ur own reality.

Soul
Thats the learning I had about Z. Z focus on creation and expansion. I focus on saving.
Not sure, but just last week I decided to use my pen name and website name, Joy Ong.
That's the precept for my sharing, my life. To live consciously. To live happily. Amen.