Mar 16 eve
Father, when people defend, it's outward. But mine seems to turn inward. No wonder I got Rheumatoid Arthritis.
Father, feeling tired today. Mmm, all three of them went to outstation. No wonder hesitant reply. Also I guess my antenna is up that I was not called. But is fine. All of us have our own gang, just S, A and L is with me mostly.
So glad to have Shoonya and Samyama. Feel so relieved. I cried out loud when I went in. Crying with tears on why no one love me; then later why I didn't love myself. After the cries, I went in deep.
Guess that's the pent up feelings for the past two week on Z and the events. Can see the two nodes on my shoulder blades. Looking forward to my swim tomorrow. It has been more than one month since my last swim.
Aiyoh, dealing with E takes energy. He and Sl is like a hound dog.
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