My tots is mainly on loss of validation

Mar 26
Father, surya kriya was good. My plough back also become better after surya kriya. Plan to do 5 cycles on my off days.
Shakti and Shambavi were good too.  After the practices, my nose blog clears bit. I m having a mild flu.

A tot of Z's birthday and I should wish him. This time I said nope. I love him and wish him well in my heart. By sending him a birthday greeting may force him to response and that prolong the ending. It has already ended but I didn't leave the scene. He never love me even during the hey days. I still love him but I need not tie myself to him. I want a loving and committed relationship.
Alas, I m ready to do kapalvriksha. I finally knew what I wanted. I m ready.

Yesterday M asked me about my common tots during meditation. She said hers was the various tasks to complete. For me, it was mostly on Z or how I may have lost some people's approvals. I told her that my issue was The Outsider Card.
She shared that she now begins to wonder whether photography is her thing. I told her that it must be humbling for her to admit it. Such an awakening for her.
Father, me 'going down' and admitting my vulnerability also helps others to open up too. M happy for M.

On Company, yea, my role is not on driving revenue but its on driving profits as I controlled the costs. Revenue is down quite a lot. Anyway, MD has to answer.