To live courageously

Mar 13
Woke up 4.30 am, body was fine. Was bit undecided to do asana or surya kriya. Since Surya is still new to me and I am not familiar yet. I decided on 3 cycles of Surya. It took me about 35 minutes. Breathing is deeper. And at the  end of 3 cycles, I burst out laughing. Yea, great one.
Did my breathing meditation, just savouring it. Followed up by Shakti and Shambavi. Suka kriya was so calming. Surprisingly very little tots, evening Z. At the end of practice, I took some time and savour the contentment within. I guess I miss this moment. Previously I will just sit for 5 minutes cos no time. The main fun is the end. I will give myself time. 

Had some tots of Z. I have done my part to open the bridge of communication. He is not taking the step. The mind said this shows Z truly don't want to speak to me. Well, he did come for meet. He did want to speak to me, but just not on us.

Father, let me take this period to go in deeper.

1. The issue
The rebel
People are very much afraid of those who know themselves. They have a certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism. They are the greatest stranger in the world.
The Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky.
The rebel challenges is to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.

2. Internal influence
Participation
Make participation your lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy.
Your participation will not only nourish u, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.

3. External influence of which u r aware
Patience
We have forgotten how to wait; it is almost an abandoned space. And it is our greatest treasure to be able to wait for the right moment.
This card remind us that now is a time when all that is required is simply to be alert, patient, waiting. Let nature takes its course.

Soul
I tot of Z. I have build the bridge. I can only wait for him to cross. Whatever will be, will be with us. What I can do is just to grow and love myself.

4. What is needed for resolution?
Thunderbolt
U might be feeling bit shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath your feet. Your sense of security being challenged and the natural tendency is to try to hold on to whatever u can.
But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important  - if u allow it, u will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences. After the fire, the earth is replenished; after the storm the air is clear.

Soul
Truly the end for Z and I. This month end is the final day. I have fulfilled my commitment. Bit scary after that. Z has been on my journey for two and half years. I have grown so much. Bit apprehensive.
But I also know I emerge from this stronger and lovelier.

5. Resolution
Sharing
The meditator finally reaches his heart. When he reach the third centre - suddenly an explosion of love, joy, compassion and blissfulness arisen in him with such force that it hits his heart and opens the heart.
The Queen of Fire is so rich, so much a queen that she can afford to give without keeping any inventories.
Everything seems to be coming together. Enjoy it, ground yourself in it and let the abundance in u and around u overflow.