A course in Miracle - Faith

Dec 30
Woke up at 3.50 am. Slept around 12 am. Good video on Shiva.
These few days will just be with Sadhguru. With him I just open up and can release all emotions. There were no cough yesterday night. Coughing only happen this morning during Shakti.

Body was fine cos did pre-sleep Samyama.
Surya kriya improved but now I want to do all close eyes. Towards the end laughter erupted. Its time I close my eyes again. For the last 2 months I was practising with eyes open at certain times to see alignment but that reduce the effects of Surya kriya. Will go back to its close eye process.
Breathing was not so okay. I tried short while with holding mudra and find myself going in deeper. But a tot came if doing so that I may not be able to watch breathe without mudra. That's why Sadhguru didn't ask us to hold any mudra. Anyway I think I did it around 20 minutes only.
Shakti was good but Kaka Kriya still not okay. Towards the end just a slight giggle followed by some singing in my mind.
Shambavi was good. But aum chanting still not okay due to sore throat.
Towards the end just contented silence feeling the energy from the shrine.
These last one week mostly just contented silence.

Read this good interview. Quite timely.

A course in Miracle - interview with Kenneth Wapnick,
It is a question of faith and that section says “this is a time for faith.” And it’s really faith in the process. Sometimes I tell people who go through a stormy period, it’s like you’re on a boat and there’s a storm and just get through the storm and trust that your boat won’t capsize; it will be OK. Just ride the waves and you’ll reach calm waters; just trust that.
What helps at least intellectually is to realize this is a journey and it’s a journey in the mind. And while things happen in the world, the anchor is really that this is all in my mind and I could see peace instead of this. And to just ride the waves and trust that your boat won’t sink and if you want to take the metaphor further; trust the captain of the boat, that kind of thing. Because when you’re in a crisis—whether it’s a marital crisis, a job crisis, a health crisis—that becomes front and center. And it’s helpful to at least somewhere know that this seems to be out here but the real drama is playing out inside the mind and I could be peaceful even with all these things happening.

Question:
But I do seem to have spent very little time in that fourth stage and a disproportionate amount of time in the fifth stage.  So, I guess my question is; how many dark nights of the soul does it take to heal my mind? I know that’s the ego talking but it just sometimes seems endless.

The six stages are meant to just give people a sense of what the process of letting go is. And so it’s not six discrete stages that you do and it’s over. The last stage is the real world but before that you kind of go back and forth. The first three stages are about learning how to let go, the fourth stage is relatively peaceful, and in the fifth stage all hell breaks loose when you realize what this is really saying.
About the self you see in the mirror?
Right. But it’s all circular, we always keep going around and around in the stages but the six stages give a sense of what the process is like; the letting go of everything, thinking that I’ve done a good job, and then suddenly realizing that what I really have to let go of is myself.

Soul
That's my question. When I saw the Two of Hearts and Three of Hearts in Pluto I freaked out cos I already had a long period of sadness on Z; how long does that need to continue. As if I need another one. So in away I was avoiding. But I truly want my partner. In come Y unexpectedly.

Now that Y and I are no more. I am afraid of more lessons. Guess that the control issue in me. The key is letting go of myself.

A course in Miracle - interview with Kenneth Wapnick,
Don’t stop what you’re doing. Have faith in what you’re doing and the process. I’m sure I said it last time, too, but be gentle and patient with yourself. One of your big handicaps is you’re not gentle with yourself.

Soul
True. I received the guilty card last week.