Trying not to revert to Seven of Clubs - negative mind

Dec 27 aft

Father,
No response from Y. The old me would have reacted. The new me just feeling bit numb due to flu and cough medication.
No longer want to hide my feelings...
Actually, no deep feelings ....just wondering what happen, thats all.
Even if closure...I still want...mmm, thats the old one.
Lets not go back there.

To remind myself of our Relationship Osho tarot card.

Me - Ripeness
When this card appears in a reading it indicates that you are ready to share your inner riches, your "juice." All you need to do is relax right where you are, and be willing for it to happen. This sharing of yourself, this expression of your creativity, can come in many ways – in your work, your relationships, your everyday life experiences. No special preparation or effort on your part is required. It is simply the right time.

Him - Moment to moment
This card challenges us to move away from our preoccupations with other spaces and other times, and stay alert to what is happening in the here and now. Life is a great ocean in which you can play if you drop all your judgments, your preferences, and the attachment to the details of your long–term plans. Be available to what comes your way, as it comes. And don't worry if you stumble or fall; just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, have a good laugh, and carry on.

Composite - Postponement
The woman in this picture is living in a gray landscape, full of unreal, cut-out clouds. Through the window frame she can see colors and light and aliveness, and although she would like to move through the frame – as we can see by the rainbow colors appearing in her garment – she can't quite manage to do it. There is still too much "what-if?" activity in her mind.

Insight - Participation

You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make your contribution to creating something greater and more beautiful than each of you could manage alone. Your participation will not only nourish you, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.

Soul
Today is Saturn day..with Three of Spades...over thinking..



Today Osho Tarot
Awareness

Mind can never be intelligent – only no-mind is intelligent. Only no-mind is original and radical. Only no-mind is revolutionary – revolution in action. This mind gives you a sort of stupor. Burdened by memories of the past, burdened by projections of the future, you go on living – at the minimum. You don't live at the maximum. Your flame remains very dim. Once you start dropping thoughts, the dust that you have collected in the past, then the flame arises – clean, clear, alive, young. Your whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without any smoke. That is what awareness is." Osho

The veil of illusion, or maya, that has been keeping you from perceiving reality as it is, is starting to burn away. The fire is not the heated fire of passion, but the cool flame of awareness. As it burns the veil, the face of a very delicate and childlike buddha becomes visible. The awareness that is growing in you now is not the result of any conscious "doing," nor do you need to struggle to make something happen. Any sense you might have had that you've been groping in the dark is dissolving now, or will be dissolving soon. Let yourself settle, and remember that deep inside you are just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged. A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help you to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from your eyes.


Soul
True...its ok to feel detached..something new is being born in me.