Osho - freedom needs insecurity and uncertainty

Jan 9

As I was driving back after a late night out, my cough returns. Could be the curry that I had for dinner. Or could be me suppressing my sadness and using sickness to numb it.

When I reach home, shower and light a candle around 11.20 am and just sit with my Shrine. Tears start to drop and I just cry. I was crying over Y. I talked to Linga. Help me.
I don't want to be sick. I will take the pain. No more numbing myself. All in all about 5 minutes. Later just sit quietly

Slept around 12 am and woke up around 4.30 am without alarm. Body is fine as if waking up in BSP hall. Must be the lighted candle and also energy from S who just got back from ashram. When I hugged her I felt the energy, I m stuck to her like a magnet. its overwhelming  and tears came.

Sang guru pooja and did one cycle of Surya kriya. Breathing was okay. Shakti was great. There were little tots of anything. Very little tot of Y. Only tot of when we reconcile and become friends again. But there be no more lengthy whatsapp conversation that last for hour or two.
Shambavi was great. Towards the end just a lovely feeling of sweet contentment, a feeling of ease.
Tot of Y, we be good. Once I got over I be fine. I target to do so in another 2 weeks.
Towards the end cry a bit when I say prayer of thanks to Sadhguru. I affirm my wish and thanked Linga for my husband. I just prayed that my husband and I will go to Kailash.


Life Love and Laughter by Osho
A really rebellious person is one who is neither for society nor against society, who simply lived his life according to his own understanding. Whether it goes against or it goes with society is not a consideration, it is irrelevant.
He is not adamant, he is very humble. He says, "I may be wrong, but please allow me to be adobo according to myself. There is only way to learn. To commit mistakes is the only way to learn. To move according to one's own understanding is the only way to grow and become mature.

Soul
Well. I can be one.


Life Love and Laughter by Osho
Life is insecurity. Each movement is a new move into more and more insecurity. One never knows what is going to happen. And its beautiful that one never knows. If it were predictable, life would not be worth living. If everything were as u like to be and everything were certain, u would not be a man at all, u would be a machine.
Man lives in freedom. Freedom needs insecurity and uncertainty.

Lao Tzu. I m hesitant and I move alertly in life because I don't know what is going to happen. And I don't have any principle to follow. I have to decide every moment. I never decide beforehand. I have to decide when the moment comes.

Soul
This is opposite of being controlled.