Truth is the herenow - opening your heart

Jan 19 aft
Did two cycle of walk cum run. Was planning not to run cos I sprained my two little toes. But somehow body wants to run. I ran quite far in the first cycle. Feels exhilarated.
Second cycle just ran a bit. Knowing my feet not good and I be walking in the wet market with mom.

Feeling comfortable. Sitting besides dad at the hospital. He looks okay. He will be at home with us.

Had a tot of Y. But waived it off. Just the mind. Let me accept is okay if he avoid me. Let me accept the avoidance. Father, after this round with Y I will no longer keep what's true in me.

Yesterday watching the video and tot that what Y had was accumulation of Sadhguru's teaching. He is influenced by Sadhguru. For me I m not. I don't care what Sadhguru says but I only do the practice. In this path I don't really use my mind. I just be with him and be available to him.

Life love and laughter
Truth is herenow.
Truth is u have to become available to it.
Truth is the opening of ur heart - love will become the bridge between u and truth.

Start sharing whatsoever u have. Share ur beauty, ur songs, ur life. In sharing u will be enriched. Don't hoard. The moment u start hoarding, u r trying to depend on urself; u lost trust in life. Give it! As life has given it to u, give it - more will be coming.


Soul
I have stopped writing for past 3 months. Firstly nothing deep happens. Also last two months was busy with Y. Secondly after reading all the articles from rebelle society, Matt Licata and Jeff foster. I feel my story being insignificant. Also still updating my blog.

Will start writing again soon.

Mmm. Suddenly tot of the love I gave but no reciprocation. When I first saw Pluto Two of Hearts, I said I don't want to go through another round especially just recover from long break up with Z. Unexpectedly Y came into my life. It was a short 2 months but he helped me to close the door on Z completely. I can now talk to Z and wife. Can looked at them without any envious feeling. I know Z values and mine are different. And I can never be happy with Z in a traditional marriage with family.

Life love and laughter.
Be nothing. Nothing is the source of all, nothing means nirvana. In being nothing, u will have attained to the whole. In being something, u will miss; in being nothing u will arrive home.

Soul
I overcome my fearlessness with Y and declare my feelings for him knowing that the consequences may not be good. But still I do it. I no longer want to hide. Since he now avoids me, I accepts it.
I don't get him but I get to be my true Self.

Life love and laughter
The whole existence is divine. Love the trees if u want to know about the forest. Love people if u want to know anything about God. Don't be obsessed by word.
Feel more, rather than thinking. Through feeling, ur prayer will arise.... and through feeling, u will be dissolved one day. And when u are dissolved, God is.

Soul
Amen.
Feel settled today. No longer bothered about Y's disappearance. He has fulfilled his role in my life and I took up the lesson. As for his lesson, he got to learn from another person; which is during his Uranus period.

Life love and laughter
Love is when God has found u. Love is when God's hand searching for u, groping for u. Love is when u are allowing God to find you.
Hence u cannot manage love. U can manage logic; u can be very efficient as far as logic is concerned. The moment love arises, u become absolutely inefficient.
then u don't know what u are doing. Then u don't know any control.

 Jan 19 eve

Did Yoga Namaskara. Good for spine. Will be taking this up. As for the Upa, know its good but can't fit in all.

Y didn't come in for Sathsang. I was sad that he avoided me. Then mind spiral said its my fault I made him afraid to come. A tot came, I fall for him and its not a crime that I declare to him. How he takes it is his issue. At least I know the outcome instead of hanging on.
If he avoids me then even friendship is not true. So nothing real is lost.
Two days already that I don't seek him out. Not even checking his whatsapp profile. If he doesn't want to be in my space so be it. I need not apologise.