Being with Y clarify my values

Jan 1

Yesterday had a great time connecting with Y. We were watching Sadhguru's live and interacting with each other through messages. At some point when his internet connection was down, I put him on speaker phone so he can hear Sadhguru's darshan. Great way of connection....this is truly what I valued...albeit I want that my partner be with me physically too..

Father, perhaps Y is here to let me have a taste of what I actually valued. To give me a true profile of the partner that I truly valued...
Looking back..Z's values was never mine...and I told him many times that I cannot live his way...and that actually means I can't live with him. Maybe thats the reason I hold back on the 'children'...cos I know that its our 'block'...without that we be together and that is truly not I want. Looking at the Cancer and Aries connection foretells it.

Slept around 2.30 am yesterday and woke up upon alarm at 8 am. Throat is still sore...
Sang guru pooja to the shrine...lovely.
At first was only planning to do one cycle of Surya Kriya...but I tot of Y's diligence...and I then said lets do my normal 5 cycles as today is off day, no need to rush.
Now back to closing eyes for Surya Kriya and noticed alignment is still out...
But have to continue closing eyes...to ensure potency of Surya Kriya.
Breathing was okay.. did some with holding mudra and some with open palms.
There were some tots of Y coming in..mostly romantic imagination which I waive off...
Shakti was great...love the Kapala Bhakti..now it is getting quite effortless and also focused.
Shambavi was good..
Towards the end, a loud Ah came from my guts...
Then sitting in arashidharna in contented silence...
Just silence....very little singing in the mind...


Got this from Sadhguru's live stream sathsang yesterday.
Question to Sadhguru - how to overcome fear?
Sadhguru's answer - To create fear, u need excessive imagination. What may happen in ur mind happens in thousand different formats. Probably 99 of them never happen. Ur fear is non existent
Since you like imagination, might as well imagine happy things and enjoy it.

Today a new day....and Y is following Sadhguru's message of 25% less words...So not replying to my morning messages eventhough he read them...
Thats him...