Seven of Hearts - was my inner No...

Jan 2 eve 1

Did my evening practices. It has increased from 45 min to one hour since mid this year.
And today for the first time it went up to nearly one and half hour.
Think I spent longer in Samyama and after Shoonya, just deep knock out.
Towards the end I prayed thanks to Linga. She send Y to me shortly after I return from Ashram. I returned on Nov 18 and Y show up in my life a week later.
I hereby accept that I want Y as my husband. The price to pay on our age is no longer in that equation. I no longer want to have regrets over my inflexibility. Now I think Seven of Hearts is because I draw an inner circle of NO.
I may have little parameters in the outer circle that say Yes. But once inside the hidden inner circle that say No.

I admit there is doubt on whether Y feel the same way or whether he is willing to face the society's opinion on us. But on the Osho relation card, he showed up as Rebel whereas I showed up as Control. So I m going to have faith on this.

What I can do and will do is state what I desire. Like Sadhguru says, it is not my business whether it will happen or not. What is required of me is my full desire.

Yes I hereby accept Y as my husband. He is my Jupiter card.
No wonder today I got Ten of Diamond. Finally realised I truly value Y as my husband and the age difference is no longer in the equation.

I don't know what will happen. What is important is that I finally break the inner circle of NO. I no longer let my unconscious rule my life. Finally the last key is opened.

Got this from FB
Shams Tabrizi
Patience is not sitting and waiting, it is foreseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose. Looking at the night and seeing the day.
Lovers are patient and knows that the moon needs time to become full.

To my surprise Y messages me in early evening to tell me about his salary increment. I m truly first in his tots.
I took the opportunity to set our next date. He is game. Let's see.
He also finally remember to tell me that he first saw me in the advanced meditation program. He said he remember me because of my unique hair style.

This is truly news to me. Another common thing to keep us.
Just read our Love cards, all is good.

Father, Linga truly chooses the right guy for me. The age is no longer in the equation. Nor his parents.

I can and only state my desires. I let Linga do the necessary. I already told Linga I accepted Y as my husband. Next step is for Y to realise this too.