I thought there was hope for me and Y...

Jan 7 eve

Father, he responded..but gave me 4 pix..and the last one was a lotus flower with its mirror reflection in the pond..as if kissing..
He even joked with me..
I asked if he wanted me to move on..he says nope..
Then I truly tot we are on..
 And later he informed me that he just received an oversea posting for a couple of months. He is worried about me not having him near.
He said he will chat with me later but till now no response.
Me getting bit nervous.
The mind saying remember Ra that quit his job and began new  biz and decided to let go of us since we just started.
I counter and said Y is a different breed. He is truly with me otherwise would not even take the time to prepare to 4 pic to tell me he feels the same. And I have dissolved my Sevens.

Mmm, let things be la. To Y he already conveyed his decision to me. When his mood is okay then he will be loving and playful. But if he is busy, he will be silent. And when work is too much he will 'vent'.

Mmmm, I seems to continuously ignored his venting. Maybe becos I don't vent.

Pluto Two of Hearts really needed.
Pluto - Two of Hearts
A major goal for u this year will be to have a successful love relationship or friendship. For this reason, this is the year that u will have to make many changes within ur self in the name of love, friendship or romance.
Whether u are interested in the partner of ur dreams or just good, close friendships, u will have to take a different approach in ur life if u r to be successful in this area.
Love and intimacy requires compromise and cooperation, two of the keynotes for this card of the 'love union'
Ur intense desire for this closeness will cause u to confront some of the parts of urself that tend to keep this intimacy from u.
At times, this may seem very challenging or difficult, but it helps to keep in mind ur reasons for facing this situations - to have more intimacy in ur life.

Soul
I will learn to validate others feeling as I too can validate myself.
Father, let this year be my goal in feeling communication.

Life, Love and Laughter by Osho
You cannot breathe in if u stop breathing out. U cannot live if u stop dying. The man who understood what his life is allows death to happen; he welcomes it. He dies each moment and each moment he is resurrected. He dies to the past each moment and he is born again and again into the future.
If u really want to live u have to be ready to die.
Ego is against both life and death. Ego is afraid to live because each effort, each step towards life, brings death closer.

Soul
Let me validate my feelings and others too. Mmm, suddenly it occurs to me why Y does not act differently after our mutual declaration. To him we are already together, so no change.
And here I tot we would be different. And hence disappointed unnecessarily.

Mmm, no wonder Slowing Down.

Life Love and Laughter
The ego is afraid to love because in love, life comes to a peak. Whenever there is a peak of life, there is also death.

Soul
True. When I declare I fall for Y, such anticipation. When I finally realised he too fallen for me, such exhilaration.
Then later feel anticlimax.
All ups comes down.
Guess Slowing Down card is the key especially since Y is busy these 2 days.

Life, Love and Laughter
In love, in trust, in prayer, whenever life becomes total, death is there. Without death, life cannot become total.

Soul
When I m knocked out, death to mind I m truly at bliss.

Love, life and Laughter
U change house. If u get to identified with one house then changing the house will be very painful. U will think that u are dying because the old house was what you were - that was ur identity.
But this doesn't happen, because u know that u are only changing the house, u remain the same. Those who looked within themselves, those who found who they are, come to know an eternal, non ending process.

Soul
I tot I would die if I lost meat. But I didn't.
I tot I die if I lose morning coffee and tea, but I didn't.
I tot I would die if I ever got a veg partner but I didn't.
Mmm, Y travel to overseas. Guess I have to follow la.

My boss told me last week that we may lose our main client. This would mean to down size. But lets see la. Just go with the flow.

Life love and laughter
Life is going away from the original source, death is coming back home. Death is not ugly, death is beautiful.
But death is only beautiful only for those who have lived their life unhindered, uninhibited, unsuppressed. Death is beautiful only for those who have lived their life beautifully, who have not been afraid to live, who have been courageous enough to live - who loved, who danced, who celebrated. Death become the ultimate celebration if ur life is a celebration.
If u have known anything of the transcendental in u, death will reveal to u the transcendental in the universe - then death is no longer a death but a meeting with God.


Soul
Exactly as what Sadhguru said.