Acceptance

Jan 14

Woke up wonder about Y for a moment. Start my practices. Guru pooja was lovely. Did 5 cycle of Surya Kriya. Breathing was good but ended earlier cos habit breakfast. Shakti was good eventhough no Kapala Bhakti due to menses. I felt like dancing towards the end Shambavi was good. Towards the end a loud ah from the guts. Just feeling happy.
During the practice tot of my 5 and half year journey. How I avoided and resisted Sadhguru until I finally open up and love him. The resistance was from the fear that he is so powerful and can change my life.
A tot came maybe that's why Y avoided me cos I too can change his life.

I was feeling contented whole day. There were sporadic tot of Y but no sadness. Like Sadhguru says event outside is beyond my control. So him avoiding me is out of my control. But what happen within is under my control. I have state my desire for Y. What happen is not within my control.