Creativity when got over the intial problem

Jan 3

Woke up before 7 am and tot of Y. I hereby accept him as my husband. No more dilemma. No more postponement.

I knew he is good with children and suddenly this idea occur to me.
On the child. Both of us have different practice time. So we can still keep to our practices. Once our child reach 6, we will send him or her to Isha school. We will be going to ashram regularly after the child is born. He or she be familiar with the ashram.

So, perfect.
No issue on children.
Mmm, why with Z I never tot of this...mmm because with Z he would never agree on sending child to Isha Home..but Y would...
On our age difference, it no longer matters.
Firstly, our attraction is from mental and our soul...it is not physical, unlike Z and I.
With Z, he is always focused on the physical side.
With Y, he is oblivious to the physical..

Did guru pooja..and followed with 5 cycle of Surya Kriya. Keeping my eyes closed most of the time. Feet alignment is improving. My right elbow is in bit of pain. Guess could be due to me skipping the RA pills for the last few days. I needed my immune system to fight the cough.
Breathing with mudra, went in deep...
Shakti was okay...on the second and third cycle of Kapala Bhakti I was bit lost.
Kaka Kriya is coming back...as cough is nearly gone..
Toward the end, head was shaking non-stop for awhile..thats a first for me in Shakti.
I didn't take any rest stop.
Shambavi was good..but preparatory steps was bit stiff cos no stop during Shakti.
Towards the end...just lovely sitting in arashidharna in contented silence...
I thanked Linga for sending Y to me.
I reaffirmed my acceptance of Y as my husband.

After the practices, I send a message to Y telling him that I m free tomorrow for dinner.
He quickly suggested lunch instead..
So, we are on tomorrow...
Lets see..just enjoy each other.
But I would definitely asked him after our trip.

Father, now that I have accepted him.  Now I knew the Osho tarot - Courage card.

Courage
When we are faced with a very difficult situation we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow. The flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out of the darkness and into the light. There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.

Instead of always lamenting what is the challenge. My role is to go beyond the challenge and accept the Now.
Accept that this person is my relationship.
Losing Z make me realised my loss back then.
I no longer want to lose Y over my Seven of Clubs...

Today my 7thunder card.

My Daily Card
The Eight of Clubs
The Eight of Clubs is the card of mental power, the ability to focus one's mind on a goal or objective and see it through to a successful conclusion. This power is usually applied to some mental or educational task. It bestows the power to overcome all problems by focusing one's thoughts and it usually occurs when there is something that we need to learn or accomplish on the mental level.
The Eight of Clubs is one of the three, 'fixed' cards. When it appears, we have the opportunity to fix our mind on certain goals and objectives. It is the card of focus of the mind. Out of that focus and concentration, success is assured.

True. I have fixed my mind to accept Y.
Going beyond does not means suppressing or ignoring.
Going beyond means accepting and yet still continue.
I don't know where or how...but for now I only know i need to say YES to Y.
I need to say to this potential husband...thats all I know for now..