I no longer want to be sidekick..in a relationship

Jan 9 mor

First thing got mail from Z's wife. At first not sure who was it. Later I see that it was her using Z's name as her last name.
Not a great start for the day. Still missing Y and got this on Z.

Father, there must be a reason for this. I truly don't know.

Just now received msg from Y. I didn't reply. I checked my Osho tarot. Then I just replied Thank you after 20 minutes.

I thank him cos he did restore my confidence that I m wanted.

But I no longer want to be sidekick. I want to be the main star. I want to be like Z's wife. She is the main star and she eligible to put her husband's surname.
Cried in the toilet. Eyes all red but feel better.

Me don't think I use my husband surname. Anyway. Thanks to Z's wife  I reaffirmed my wish to be main star of romantic relationship. I deserved to be main.