Osho - love only flows out of somebody who is nobody

Jan 16
Woke up 3.50 am upon alarm. Body was fine thanks to pre-sleep breathing. Just had time to do 20 minutes. Slept around 11.15 pm.

Sang guru pooja with a dance. Did 5 cycle of Surya kriya and now both hands on the floor with one leg rest. Only happen since I got back from the program. Will reduce to 3 cycle and replace with abridged Upa and Yoga Namaskara. On the yoga asanas day will just add yoga Namaskara.

Breathing was fine. Shakti was good with just bit of out of focus in third cycle of Kapala Bhakti. Had some tots of work matters.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end just contented silence.
After the practices I prayed to Linga for fulfillment of my wish. I prayed that my husband and I be in Kailash for our honeymoon. I am no longer confident that Y can be. But I am still sure of what I want. So continue to reaffirm my goal.

Yesterday night I just forget my ego and ask Y to be careful. He noted my concern. Father, am I falling into same compulsion Y said I have no pride when it comes to romantic relationship. And later I found I lacked parameters and give into other values. I now know my values and attract the same kind but he is putting a distance between us. By right I should just leave him and move on. But I m not. Just being there.

Life love and laughter
Act when u are positive. Don't force positivity, wait for positivity to come on its own. Learn to transform ur poisons into honey.

Whenever it is negative, keep it to urself. Whenever it is positive, share. Human being is simply stupid. When they are happy, they don't share, they are miserly. When they are unhappy, they are very, very spendthrift - then they are much ready to share. When people smile, they smile economically - just so far. But when they are angry they are totally angry.
The third step is to share to positivity. That will bring ur love flowing river like, arising from ur heart. Ur dilemma of the heart will start moving when u share.
The real thing is not what u are giving - pearls, holiness and love - and to whom u are giving; that is not the point. The point is that u are giving. When u have, give it.

Soul
People said I don't have pride. I give and give. But actually it is not conditional and hence I get resentment when I don't receive.
This issue with Y. For two months we been up and down and finally this impasse. But still we both know the friendship is there in the background. Despite him avoiding me and me trying to run away. 
At least this time I asked about the other feelings before I go full board. Saying that, the feelings are already there. But what's more important to me is that I be the main star in relationship. No more being sidekick that can be easily replaced.

Life love and laughter
Hoarding poisons the heart.  All hoarding is poisonous. If u share, ur system will be free from poisons. And when u give, don't bother whether it is responded to or not. Be thankful u found someone to share. Be thankful that he didn't reject ur sharing.

Sharing is one of the most spiritual virtues, one of the greatest spiritual virtues

And the fourth: be nothing. Once u start thinking u are somebody, u stop; then love does not flow. Love flows only out of somebody who is nobody. Love abides in nothingness. When u are empty, there is love.