This too will pass

Jan 18

Woke up and know this will pass. This sadness will pass. Me no need to see to Y. His role is done. It is over.

My sister was sleeping in my room so can't do my whole sadhana or rather cannot let myself complete go.
Sang guru pooja with a dance
Did one cycle Surya Kriya followed by breathing meditation. Breathing was okay and I stayed quite awhile.
Shakti was good albeit bit side tracked by tots of office and Y during the second and third cycle. But can feel the energy and towards the end laughing and singing silently.
Shambavi was good, head was shaking non stop during aum chanting. This shaking of head becomes quite regular but today even the limbs are shaking.
Towards the end, blowing out whistle for quite some time. And then just sit in contented silence.

Matt Licata
Ur vulnerability is not a mistake and ur sadness is not something which need to be healed. Inside the core of ur sensitivity is a bridge to the unseen world. As u peer beneath the veil u will be astonished at what is truly happening here. Yes this is a bridge made of pure grace but it is a grace that mind could never understand.

Today 7thunder card.
My Daily Card
The Six of Spades

The Six of Spades is the strongest of the karma cards. When this card is present, you can expect a smoothing out of affairs in the realms of work and health. However, if you have had bad or negative habits in these areas or if your lifestyle has included any activities which have intentionally or inadvertently hurt others, you may have to settle your accounts when this powerful card appears. Whatever happens when this card appears, see that as a guidepost to make corrections in your path.

The Six of Spades will cause a settling of all affairs and at the same time bring some much needed peace into your life. If, during that time, you take some time to tune in to your deepest thoughts and feelings, you may become aware of a special message for you that comes from inside. This message may lead you to perform a special mission in your life, one that uplifts others in some important way. The Six of Spades is the card of FATE.

Soul
Guess this means things are settling; which is true.
While I still have tots of Y, no more craving to contact him..or perhaps i knew that he is now avoiding me.

Just did The Mirror card.
Me
(a) Body - totality
When you are not total, whenever you are in the head – thinking, brooding, calculating, cunning, clever – you are not total. Slowly, slowly slip out of those moments. It is just an old habit. Habits die hard. But they die certainly – if one persists, they die." Osho
Developing the knack of being total in responding to whatever comes, as it comes, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Taking one step through life at a time, giving each step your complete attention and energy, can bring a wondrous new vitality and creativity to all that you do

Soul
True..me trying to bolt again.
Trying to ignore and suppress it..
Alas just hoping this will go over soon.

(b) Heart - The Lovers

These three things are to be taken note of: the lowest love is sex – it is physical – and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Sex is below love, compassion is above love; love is exactly in the middle. Very few people know what love is. Ninety-nine percent of people, unfortunately, think sexuality is love – it is not. Sexuality is very animal; it certainly has the potential of growing into love, but it is not actual love, only a potential.Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is – welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not. Then as we mature, we can begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honors the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole. This love is based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.

He said he wanted us to be spiritual friends..
Just have to ride this out..

(c) The Mind
"This is the situation of your head: I see cycle handles and pedals and strange things that you have gathered from everywhere. Such a small head and no space to live in! And that rubbish goes on moving in your head; your head goes on spinning and weaving – it keeps you occupied.
The Page of Clouds is telling you that somebody, somewhere, is stuck in "a head trip." Take a look and make sure it isn't you.

Soul
Last week was him in the Mind..this week is me..

2. Him
(a) Body - Inner voice
There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then are we able to hear our truth.

"Zen wants you living in abundance, living in totality, living intensely – not at the minimum as Christianity wants you, but at the maximum, overflowing. Your life should reach to others. Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed. It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry – not only to the friends but to the strangers too. This is real compassion, this is real love: sharing your enlightenment, sharing your dance of the beyond." Osho


Soul
when I read this..possibly he is spreading to others as his January card says so and also yesterday he got Ten of Hearts in Venus. Just that he is not into me...not the way I want to..

(c) Mind - Guilt
"This moment – this herenow – is forgotten when you start thinking in terms of achieving something. When the achieving mind arises, you lose contact with the paradise you are in. This is one of the most liberating approaches: it liberates you right now! Forget all about sin and forget all about saintliness; both are stupid. Both together have destroyed all the joys of humanity. The sinner is feeling guilty, hence his joy is lost. How can you enjoy life if you are continuously feeling guilty

Soul
No wonder..he is guilty of us..so he now go on avoidance mode. Guess this is the standard modus operandi for guys.

3. Outer Manifestation
(a) Melting and merging - Courage
When we are faced with a very difficult situation we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow. The flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out of the darkness and into the light. There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.

(b) Alchemy of togetherness - Existence
Now is the time to look at whether you are allowing yourself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever you are. If you are, be sure to take time to savor it so it can deepen and remain with you. If on the other hand you've been feeling like the world is out to get you, it's time to take a break. Go outside tonight and look at the stars.

(c) The Blessings - Transformation
This is a time for a deep let-go. Allow any pain, sorrow, or difficulty just to be there, accepting its "facticity." It is very much like the experience of Gautam Buddha when, after years of seeking, he finally gave up knowing there was nothing more that he could do. That very night, he became enlightened. Transformation comes, like death, in its own time. And, like death, it takes you from one dimension into another.

Soul
A week ago..it was Breakthrough and now Transformation

4. INNER DYNAMIC

(a) Melting and merging
Comparison
"Comparison brings inferiority, superiority. When you don't compare, all inferiority, all superiority, disappear. Then you are, you are simply there. A small bush or a big high tree – it doesn't matter; you are yourself. You are needed. A grass leaf is needed as much as the biggest star.
 The way to find out who you are is not by comparing yourself with others, but by looking to see whether you are fulfilling your own potential in the best way you know how.

(b) Alchemy of Togetherness
Exhaustion
"A man who lives through conscience becomes hard. A man who lives through consciousness remains soft. Why? – because a man who has some ideas about how to live, naturally becomes hard. He has continuously to carry his character around himself. That character is like an armor; his protection, his security; his whole life is invested in that character. And he always reacts to situations through the character, not directly. If you ask him a question, his answer is ready-made. That is the sign of a hard person

It is about all the ways in which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors. Life isn't a business to be managed, it's a mystery to be lived. It's time to tear up the time-card, break out of the factory, and take a little trip into the uncharted. Your work can flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.

(c) Blessings
Past lives
A glimpse into the eternity of our existence is a gift, and understanding the function of karma in our lives is not something that can be grasped at will. This is a wake-up call; the events in your life are trying to show you a pattern as ancient as the journey of your own soul.

Soul
Exactly...thats what I am wondering these 2 days.
What does my Soul wants to learn in this lifetime.
Instead of resisting..I want to go with the Soul