Monday, February 18, 2013

My love for Z...hasn't wavered

Feb 10
Finished my practices, Suria Namaskara was effortless with my subtle body. Shakti was fine with slow kapala bhakti. Shambavi was fine. Suka kriya went into violet flame. Towards the end, I felt my heart, both tears and laughter came together.

Woke up with one tot. Z. I knew that I need to trust my guts. I knew that his pixes are a way to tell me he is ready to chat. Not sure of the outcome. But at least, I have no regrets in the future. While I may not offer him children, I can offer my true and courageous love that never waver.

Yday Leela video on blues, about the women in Krishna's life. Sadhguru said Rumi, Krishna's first wife love for Krishna has never wavered irrespective of the situations. She is a princess and if she didn't love and marry Krishna, she could have an easy life.

Krishna always said Rumi deserved a shrine as her love is always true and never waver.

In a way, that's my love for Z too. It has never wavered. Not sure why he was chosen for me to love. But with him, because of him, I found my courage, I found my heart. I found my Self

I may be stupid. Logically no reason to forgive him. But I did, I can't help it. He is my love, if I can't forgive him, who can I forgive. Amen.

Thanks. It no longer matters. What matters, is me opening my heart.

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